How Do you Wanna be Remembered [By M]

How do you want to be remembered? As a sinner or a saint, as a hero or a villain? Think about the steps you take How do you want to be remembered When they're standing at your grave?
On your tombstone, what is written? Think about the steps you take

All my life I've been searching for the answersHow did I lose so much of the things that really matter? Is there no paradise, cause I feel no joy or laughterSeems everything I touch only turns into disaster So I ask myself...

Do I reach for love only when he says she's leaving? Do I pray above only when I feel I'm needing? See I can't sleep at night, when sheep turn into demons There's no alibi when the jury knows your secret So I ask myself...

Cause on the day when you face judgement You better have your story straight Were you a good friend and a husband To the wife that gives you love, love, love

Break Your Heart Right Back [By A.G]

I should have saw it coming I should have saw the signs But I wanted to believe you, trust you You said you wouldn't lie But baby you were so good, so good You had me going blind You said it was your best friends, I'm guessing I wasn't your type, hey


What goes around comes around And if ti goes up, it comes down I know you mad cause I found out Want you to feel what I feel right now

Now that it's over I just wanna break your heart right back Want you to cry me a river
All this time I was blind running around Telling everybody My baby loves me


You said I was your best, would be your last Now she's gone, you're alone Don't want you back You're telling me you're sorry Well sorry, my friend Cause I've already been there, done that Ain't doing this again, no

Pack of three Theory...I am sure, am I?

Change is part of life. People come and go but some will stay. Paths cross for little, a while or "forever". Things can happen for a reason and/or just by chance. People come into your life mostly because there is a reason. Maybe it's something you gotta live, learn- though smiles or tears-, enjoy or all of the above. Yet how much do you actually pay attention and acknowledge this.

The past two to three years have been a process to get to know myself as deep as I can and get to know the people and anything that surrounds me that one way or another end up being part of my life. Now I know that some traits of my personality can tell stories about me. That I may have impacted some people's lives for better or for worst -sometimes not on propose- I know that the people that matter in my life were part of it because there was story behind what I lived or not with them- no matter what the link was-.

I don't believe people can change. The essence of someone will always be the same; however, I do believe people can improve themselves and be the best they can actually be. That battle will never be easy particularly because each one of us will have to fight our own demons.

Moving to another country, a whole new culture, has helped me grow and tested who I am and what I am made of. In my family, we always say the things come in pack of 3 and so far  it has been that way whether it is about good things or bad ones.  This “theory” is being proved once again since last year till the end of this year... Let me explain how/why…

The first trip [ last summer] was to deal about my present and everything  involved in it back then. I was on the crossroad in my life or at least that how I see it. It was a wake-up call in every aspect.  I won’t give details because they’re not necessary but the summary of it – in every point by the way- lol Family aspects, dealing with the last months my mom had. Professionally, I was entering my last semester as a senior. Finally, in my personal life, dating someone who I thought I could count on but the story proved otherwise in many ways and many times. Everything happened all at once I'm not blaming everything on anyone [my mom, life or my ex ] because I am aware I may not handle things properly besides the other facts on how things went down. However,  I thought I would have more support than what I actually had. Personal life had no support. When it comes to my family and professional life, I had to be the rock. This trip showed me that sometimes not because we are certain way to people they would appreciate it and act the same way, wrong! Friends or partners may not be as supportive as you can be during hard times. Some people can be there for you only on the bright days but won’t fight with you and by your side during the hardest battles.  Also, I learned that I have to be the rock no matter what because at some point I would have my family. I better learn to be it right now. Your responsibilities are important so you have to "suck it up" And keep on going. Life will not stop for you.

The second trip was the one I needed after everything went down and all the changes in my life happened all at once and it was time to process it. I got to grieve and push myself to face my new reality. I got my bachelors and made to the dean list which I am very proud of. Also, it was time to confront my “old” past and my recent past.  I had a deep and amazing talk with my last ex (back when I lived in my home country and I came to America for the first time). Even though we broke up around six years ago, we owe that conversation to ourselves. We talked about everything we lived together the good and the bad, why and how we broke up and handle it and all. Very nice to see that we can be friends. Glad to share his new life as a family guy. I understood that when it is true love, it never ends but only will be transformed in appreciation of those good memories. You will always care about that person. I know for a fact he loved me and would avoid anything that would hurt me. His support during my mom’s last months and after her death was appreciated. We have chosen different paths.. He is proud of me and I’m proud of him for being an amazing father to his children and family. On the other hand, my recent past needed to have some restrictions. I said part of what I have wanted to say (to be honest not even half of it). Even though that person wanted to be friends and keep in touch I couldn't... I needed distance. Things can’t be that way in the blink of an eye and even more when there is not a real mature talk like the one I previously mentioned. He really hurt me and his attitude was definitely not the best one so I decided to focus in me. Dealing with the recent past taught me I had to be a little selfish - at least in this situation- because the other person was over his head and didn't acknowledge what he caused. Before you point the finger at someone, point it at yourself. I forgive him because I don't want to have anger in my heart. I cannot say he will never be part of my present/future because last time I said that destiny slap me in the face lol. Maybe we will end up strangers, friends, more .. that only time,he and I will decide.This is not implying any type of feeling at the end of the day that’s something that will only concern me and maybe, just maybe him. All I know I am still living and pursuing my happiness. Finally going through all the obstacles alone helped me to realize than I may be fragile and emotional but I am way stronger than anyone thinks.

The trip previously mention was in December- January and since then I have been dealing with some other changes in my life professionally and personally. A transition period I would call. Opening my eyes to realities I didn't know because people hide it from me and  things I personally need to see with "other eyes" . True always comes out and I am glad it did because I am learning where I stand with every person as time pass by. Also, I spent amazing time with my uncle who came to visit. Beyond that I have met few good people particularly the last couple of months. There was someone in particular that really has helped me to question myself in numerous ways. I wont clarify whether I'm talking about a man or a woman .. not the point. This person has been the first one that has intimidated ever or in a very long time. Older than me and when we talk, I know that even tho this person may still working on the path that wanna take, has everything pretty clear. Have a clear set of goals and steps behind it whether it's professionally or personally ( family-friendships-romance). I like and admire that in someone. I am very happy I got to meet this person. I still don't know the complete reason why or for how long this person will be in my life ( a little while, long time, or life time). However, I am curious and excited to find out how all this will work out. ( Do not make conclusion only that person if he/she ever read it will know xD it could be a woman  who can end up being a good friend or best friend... or a man who can end up being a good friend or maybe even more.. you would NOT KNOW XD) ...Anyways coming back to the idea lol the last trip and the number three in the list will be the trip to me home country that will happen soon enough. Completely unexpected since after all  I thought I wouldn't go for at least two years but once again everything happens for a reason. I truly believe this trip will be about my present-future. I know I will take the time to make sure to figure out- polish the details about what I want for me professionally, familiar, and personally ( friends-romance). I cannot wait to have this new experience and see where it takes me. 

Regret or not regret... That's the Questions !

Numerous times we have heard or seen quotes like" the one who has no regrets have not lived" Then I think, are supposed to regret things to be able to say we had a "life"? Do we HAVE to make mistakes to actually learn? Till when are we going to use those excuses to justify poor decisions?.
I think we are giving an amazing life and it is up to us on how we wanna live it. There will be up as downs because that's just part of the contract. Mistakes will be made now and then because no one is perfect. Yet, we have a BRAIN to think before we act and acknowledge that everything has a price. There are limits then why push it? Sorry is a word use so much but not every time meant. The power of that word will depend on every particular situation.

This apply for friends or partners.
When you love your friend/partner
and give everything
 it hurts their betrayal.
Letting go that friendship or romance
will deff break your heart.

Most people have a double standard type of life. They live thinking they are not making mistakes at all or will do anything to justify it to anyone even themselves. But if someone else would do the same to them.. oh they would be the first ones to point the finger and curse at them till the end of days. They will talk about everything and "how things happen" making themselves the poor victims. Funny isn't? Then the person who actually got hurt ends up with a lot of resentment and regrets. Why would you do something that will hurt you to someone else even more if it actually happened to you in the past? The player the winner, the one played on the loser? Is it how it is supposed to be?
I don't exactly believe in REGRETS. Of course people will make mistakes and it is OK to make them as long as you took the time to think of the consequences before you act it out . However, this doesn't mean everything will work out. There is a difference between doing something and make a mistake; and do something YOU KNOW is wrong in so many levels and would condemn but still go ahead and do it plus even create reasons to justify your actions. Even though it will sound horrible I will admit that I feel sorry for those people who lie to their love ones without any type of hesitation even thought they are well aware of what they are doing and its consequences.
There are a few things I have experience directly or indirectly that could be considered as regrets. Yet why should I regret something when I had pure intentions and I was not the one who mess things up in the first place? Should I regret trusting on someone? Should I regret giving my heart to someone I fall in love with? Should I regret helping someone who needed me? Should I regret offering an honest friendship? Should I regret having a caring and LOYAL heart ? Hell no!!! The people who screw things up should be the ones regretting it whether you were cheated, played , betrayed on no matter how and who. It was not you fault people have lack of common sense and don't know how to love ( whether it is in a friendship or romance).  Oh no I am not playing victim XD - direct message to the haters lol- I admit I may not handle things correctly in some cases / situations. But I put up with situations I shouldn't have and that created a "domino effect". Someone can take so much b.s from people who pretend they are someone they are not. I do have regrets but are counted in one hand. Those regrets are people I hurt and shouldn't have because I know them for at least 7 years but I admit my errors to them in their faces and since then I've done everything to avoid doing what I did.
" There is no that crisis" is the biggest mistake anyone can make on their try to not ruing the relationship they can be having. You have to face the fact even if they break your heart because it is the first step to move on from the situation no matter what you want next. A real and honest talk is necessary even thought it may be too much too ask to some people particularly to the liars and cheaters particularly. Unfortunately it is easier said than done because if someone lies to you almost all the time even the actual true will sound like another lie. If you are the one asking for forgiveness and/ or another chance, make sure you can back your own words with actions from that moment on  if not, do not waste someones time with fake friendships or romantic relationships. If you will never be able to improve your ways, leave them alone because they deserve someone who actually care for them. If you will make everything in your power to not make the same mistake, look that person in the eyes and tell them everything. Actually commit  to that friendship/romance and make your actions back your words from now on. On the other side, if you are the one hurt and trying to forgive, take your time before you actually forgive someone. Do it for you before thinking about someone else. Before giving another chance, make sure you are aware of all the risks that will imply. Both people should"put the cards on the table" and take the decision.  Chances should be giving but most important cherished and appreciated.

Personally, I have very few regrets in my life as previously mentioned.Yet, what I can say is that I did what I felt was right at the moments I took certain decision whether it was standing up for something or someone I believed on. However, I do wish I was not as naive as I was in particular situations. I made mistakes even when I thought before acting because I am human. Lessons are learned the hardest way whether it is through personal experiences or family, friends, etc experiences.I am not sure if I will sin of naive again or not yet I will definitely would be more cautious, more than ever. Something I know for sure is that I will avoid doing to others something I hate to be done to me whether it is in a friendship or romance.
Another phrase I read a lot of social media is " asshole turn good girls into bitches, bitches turn good men into assholes" I think that's b.s Yes it is freaking hard to get your heart broken but why would you imitate someone who do not have respect for themselves or anyone? Why you , me or anyone should give that much power to  that kind of people? Do not change who you are based on bad experiences because life will be full of them but it will also have amazing moments that will take you breath away. Save that good heart for someone who can actually take care of it by your side - you gotta be the first one taking care of it! I will never cheat, betray  or use someone on purpose or being aware of what I am "doing". I refuse to change and be that negative and  kind of emotional sociopath. No thanks! I will not change my essence for no person or situation. I will stay the way I am caring and loving. No I am not egocentric believe me lol. I am pretty aware I have flaws lol I am improving myself and will always be. Improving yourself to be the best you can is an endless process.This also applies for the fake friendships. Sometimes we trust too much or are there for those friends we love like brothers or sisters but when we actually need them they disappear or stab you in the back one way or another. It hurts when you see that your "friends" do not have the same kind of consideration that you may have with them. In that moment you will want to make changes about the friendship and maybe even about yourself - how you get attach to people, how much you open up, how much you trust and all- Do not take drastic decision unless you are with a clear and "cold" mind. As I said before do not change yourself based on someone else [ bad ex or fake friend] or bad experience. Make adjustments you feel are necessaries but keep your essence and pure heart.
Regrets are made for the ones who are screwing things up. The ones with the "knife" on their hands not the ones with the open wound.  The truth always comes out no matter "how good of a player" you think you are. Stop manipulating people and/or situations. Karma takes its time but never ever misses. Improve yourself before it is too late whether you are the player or the played on. Be truly happy not just pretend to be. You can play games for too long before you realize what you once had/could had but lost. Be as honest as you can with people but most important to yourself. When you are telling lies all the time, there will be a point in where even the truth will taste like another lie to everyone who knows you and you will be sorry. Stop hurting people and most important yourself. Mature, admit your mistakes and have the balls to apologize for real to the ones you hurt whether or not you want them in your present and/or future life. Every action, word and more create baggage, it all comes out to what kind of baggage you want....

Be My Baby [By A.G]

If you know how to be my lover Maybe you can be my baby Hold me close under the covers Kiss me boy and drive me crazy

Be my, be my baby Baby, and drive me crazy

If you know how to treat me You know how to touch me Baby then you'll get the chance The chance to love me It's obvious I want to be into you But it all depends on all the things you do Cause babe I promise If you keep it real with me Be honest, You can get anything you want That you want babe
Just show me everything I need to see I'll give you anything boy

I'll give you all of my trust If you don't mess this up You ain' tryna get no other girls
When you in the club

All you got is eyes for me I'm the only girl you see So if you treat me right just the way that I want you Oh baby boy I promise that I'll be on you Night to the morning