She is the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won't give up on you. She is the girl that is unlike the rest. The one that spend her days smiling , and her nights crying. She is the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak. She is the girl that picks herself up every time she falls.

Lessons learn during 2012

1) When something good ends, it's because something even better is about to come.

2)  When you least expect it, you get to meet the people who will end up being important or teaching you the most valuable lessons.

3) You can't deny how you truly feel for too long.

4) When you have strong feelings for someone, you just can’t throw them away or forget that person even if you try.

5) Sometimes when you try to run away from love, you don't realize it was always right behind you.

6) There is a point where you realize that you need to stop holding back and give yourself a chance no matter how things turn out.

7) It´s good to help people out but you should start by helping yourself. Get to know who you are and what you need to be happy plus deserve.

8) So many people say they are your friends, relatives, love ones but when things are not so bright is when you realize who is truly there for you.

9) When someone really cares for you, they will find the way to contact you and let you know they appreciate you thru a text, a call, etc. no matter what happened or how their lives are.

10) Love is caring for someone and wanted them to be happy not just trying to hold on to a person even though you know he/she could be happier with someone else.

11) Jealousy is something normal and it is ok to admit you can get jealous from time to time. 

12) Appreciate and enjoy every single good thing that can happen leaving on the side the fears that it might bring as well.

13) Sometimes it’s a little hard not to over think things you see or hear but that just stops you from enjoying what you actually feel.

14) There will always be people trying to ruin your happiness or getting in the middle of your ¨business¨... just keep on going sooner or later things will be as they are supposed to be.

15) Love is respect. You can’t say you love someone and be unfaithful (disrespect your love one) then there is no point in being with that person.

16) True friends will be in each other’s lives no matter how many years have passed by.

17) When you left a ¨true footprint¨ in someone’s life, that person will never forget you.

18) Appreciate life, your love ones, those people who truly love and care for you –have showed it thru actions- . If you don’t, you will be sorry when you lose them.

19) Life is definitely not an easy journey but it´s up to you to make it pleasing.

20) Age doesn’t mean the person is mature. There are younger people that are more mature than old ones. 

Catching up

I haven't written in the last couple of weeks maybe even months but it felt like it wast time to write something about what's been happening lately. It's not like I write periodically but it is always good to take out what you might be feeling inside. Some people say I do it better in writing  X) Well I shall start I guess....My point of view about different stuff have changed. I have been trying to get to know myself in levels I haven't before. I think it was about time I started to deal with my past ...no not just guys - God when a girl says her past people truly just think about that but heyyyyy there is more than that we do have problems that not always involve a man or past relationships :) - anyways it was time to confront some"scars" and finally be able to say I move on or at least try to.Sometimes we still carry that burden whether we realize it or not. When you don't deal with your past and what hurts you, you will keep repeating cycles making the same mistakes.The fears will never disappear but just adjust to new-different situations you can go through whether is with friends, relatives or relationships. When you reach the point of "no return" , you will be able to see that you need to stop hurting yourself by thinking about what already happened. It might, it might not but if you don't take a chance you will never know what could have happened. Not all people are the same. Sometimes it is good to give the benefit of the doubt and let them prove who they truly are and want-feel.
Being able to know how you truly feel and admit those feelings is not always easy [at least not to everyone]. As I previously posted, I used to think that getting attached to someone or letting people know how you truly feel was a sign of vulnerability and of course I would try to protect myself by shutting down deep emotions. But man I was wrong, yeah Steff was wrong!!! Showing how you feel about someone or some situation is normal and there is nothing wrong with that. I am a human being - for those who ignore it lol - and of course there will be things that make happy,sad, upset me or irritates me. It is good to let people know what's on your mind or-and heart because otherwise they won't know it. Therefore, do not expect them to do things your way. Besides, it is always good to remind people - those who are important an special to you- that they are important and you appreciate everything they could have done for you. One little thing-detail for you[being yourself], could mean the "world" to someone else.I have realized that most of the time we take for granted how we can impact people's lives. How everything we have done or said to someone has actually made them feel. It feels so good when someone tells you that time you smiled at them, gave them a hug or just talked for a little bit made them feel appreciated and important.
In addition, I am happy my life is quite stable. I mean there is always going to be ups and downs but that's the point isn't it? When things are not so bright is when you know who is actually there for you and cares for you. You don't need that person to fix everything for you but by just knowing they will be there to give you their support and love means the world. I am happy of the people who are part of my life - my family, friends and boyfriend- I know I can count on them if I need someone to talk to or anything. Glad I have a good bf who is not only that but a good friend who I know I can turn to if I need help- advice. I am lucky to have them and they know they will always count on me for anything.
 I know there are haters - jealous people- about not only how loved I am but also the "success" I can have in my career at least so far :). Some of them are part of my life indirectly- "friends", some are just "strangers". When things like this happen, you have two options. 1. Make them a "motivation" to be even better or 2. Get mad and ruin your own happiness- making them win. Obviously I have been choosing the first one. There is no better pleasure than see all your haters mad that they cannot destroy you and it also helps you to know how strong and far you can get in life.
Maybe the way I am or see things is not the best one. Hey I am deff. not perfect and I don't want to be.  I am who I am and if there is something I need to work on, I will. I am not afraid of challenges. As long as I have the people I love by my side, make them proud and Happy...That's deff. all I want and look for.
This is just the beginning of new chapters and adjust previous one...We shall see how things go... #Hopes up :)

In all languages

People act with total lightness, total barbarity thinking that after apologizing everything will be OK and back to normal.
YES, I might be silly but to me 'we' is 'we', 'I call you' is 'I call you', 'I love you' is 'I love you'. If I say that I will be there, you know I'm gonna be there. Now when someone tells me they will be there I doubt it, because people have lost the value of the word. You can fail so many time and come asking for forgiveness, and that's it, that easy.
Asking forgiveness should not be taken so lightly. The punishment precedes crime Dostoevsky said, because before committing the crime, you know that it will generate pain and take the blame. That guilt is punishment.then you intend to redeem that guilt by just saying "I'm sorry"?.
"Sorry" can not fix what we did wrong. To ask for forgiveness before you have to be willing to repair. Is there any point in apologizing if there is no way to repair what you did wrong?
When that person doesn't forgive us, we are forced to live with our mistake, our guilt. When that person doesn't forgive us, it is a way to force us to see what we did and admit we did wrong. A simple forgiveness can not erase the pain that was caused.
Asking forgiveness is to put a band aid on an open wound that provoke ourselves. Insufficient and untimely. Only when we take responsibility for what we do, then you can start to build something different. 
Pleading and crying , kneeling, praying in all languages​​, apologizing is not enough, no repairs, no relief if we are not responsible for our actions. 
A simple sorry could not erase the pain.
Some things are unforgivable even though you apologize in all languages​​.

The Resistance

We are all busy with our little lives. Triumphs and failures, achievements and frustrations, small or large targets with which we give meaning to our lives everyday. But when tragedy strikes all becomes meaningless. That "something" we thought was our reason for existence fades. It becomes air, loses consistency and we face our own meaningless emptiness.When we face the meaninglessness of life you wonder Why resist? What is the purpose of resisting?
We say we have to do it but why? What is the meaning behind it?Why resist the pain, the sadness? Why tell us to resist when fate download all their cruelty upon us?If life is a succession of farewells, losses Why resist? Why get up every morning even though we have no reason to do so? Only by an act of faith. Faith that something better will eventually happen but what?The reward to resist is to return home.There is a moment, a second, forceful, in which all that nonsense disappears, evaporates, and the heart cries "thank you." Thanks to myself for having resisted.The reward to resist is to return home.When everything becomes dark,you will know why you should resist. For loved ones, for our affections, to leave a better world to our children.Perhaps we should accept that our existence has a higher meaning. Ultimately resist to fulfill our mission in this world.Whether we know it or not, we exist for a reason. Large or small tasks that we may complete. Make one person happy, to some, to millions.Awakening consciousness, or discover the cure for a disease, or simply be loved by someone. Everyone has a reason to exist, and for that we must resist.Our mission may be to save the world or save a life, therefore it's worth resisting.Can yous see it? There is magic all around you. There are angels. There is something higher making us part of a perfect frame in which everyone has their own " to do list".Maybe your mission is to bring a new life into the world with its own mission, or perhaps write that song that will thrill millions, or give to your girl that awful poem you wrote but that will make her feel loved. And so, for that, is worth resisting.Conclusion: Remember that you are an essential part of this endless cycle. Know that we are almost angels. And life is resistance.

Que pretende usted de mi?

Una de las cosas más difíciles de las relaciones es saber exactamente que quiere el otro de vos o con vos.
Cuando alguien te trata mal te preguntas por qué ¿Qué quiere de mí? O cuando alguien te trata muy bien ya desconfías ¿Qué quiere en realidad?
Cuando la limosna es grande hasta el santo desconfía ¿De que desconfía el santo? De las intenciones del que da las limosnas.
Nunca se puede estar seguro de que es lo que quiere el otro y esa incertidumbre genera una especie de angustia.Y como esa duda nos genera angustia empezamos nosotros a dar respuestas y tratar de adivinar que quiere el otro en realidad.
Asumimos y presumimos, damos una respuesta rápida y avanzamos, tal vez nos equivocamos pero ya no tenemos la angustia de no saber que quieren de nosotros.
Angustia mucho no saber que quiere el otro de vos, te inquieta, te perturba. Por eso nos volvemos desconfiados, nos ponemos a la defensiva, asumimos siempre que las intenciones del otro no son buenas.
Nunca podemos saber que quiere el otro o por qué nos quiere, eso es un eterno misterio ¿Por qué siempre caemos en la trampa de dar respuestas apresuradas?
El bello siente que lo quieren solo por su belleza, el rico por su riqueza, el poderoso por su poder ¿Por qué pensamos tan mal del otro?
El otro, sus intenciones siempre son una amenaza para nosotros ¿Por qué?
Pero si dejáramos de adivinar y le diéramos la chance al otro de demostrarnos que siente, que quiere y por qué nos quiere tal vez nos sorprenderíamos.
Si soportáramos esa angustia de no saber que quieren de nosotros tal vez algo nuevo podría llegar a nuestra vida.
Si pudiéramos dejarnos atravesar por el deseo del otro, dejar que quieran algo, que nos quieran, dejar que pretendan cosas de nosotros porque eso es existir.
El deseo del otro nos atemoriza, sentimos que quiere arrebatarnos algo muy preciado. ¿Pero no es eso en definitiva lo que anhelamos? Que nos quieran por lo que somos, por lo que tenemos, por eso que nos hace únicos.
¿Qué quiere el otro de mí? No sé, me quiere por las razones que sea, me quiere. ¿Tanto cuesta hacerse cargo de eso?
Tocar tu corazón. Tal vez eso es lo que quiere el otro cuando quiere algo de vos.