Self-destruct

Tonight is very very bitter night for me for many reasons that I am not planning to discuss. Once again I realize that my life is definitely not easy at all. I am aware there are bigger and worse problems than the ones I can have but don't get me wrong they hurt as much as any other problems. No one can say "my problem" is the worst problem but still some sympathy is welcome. I know there will be people who might be happy I'm hurting but I don't care. That only show who they truly are. On the other hand,  there will be people who actually care and will be worry. Thanks for caring!...After so much going on the last couple of days and a long talk with someone I truly care and mean so much to me, it surprises how someone can tell you are worth so many things but others tell you the opposite. I am deff. not perfect and I have never said I am. All I try to do is give my best to the people I love but sometimes is just not enough...Maybe I'm being selfish by having them in my life since apparently I'm not a good person. Maybe it will best for me to go away or something. To the ones I care I will always wish you the best in every way possible whether they decide to believe me or not. I'm truly sorry if what I have done is not good enough, I tried....I don't know how the future will be for me or just tomorrow or the day after. I just want some peace in my life; the people who love and truly care to be patient with me and just be there. I know some are and you have no idea how much that means to me...I'm guessing all this can be seen as a test for everything I am , believe and have. At the end of this dark tunnel, I hope I am able to see why this is happening and be surround by the right people. Hope I get to realize why I was born and I am still alive. There gotta be a reason why, right? I guess time will tell......I hope things end up the best way they can after all I just want to be happy as simple as that.