Bitter Sweet Life

I have been wanting to write something but I just couldn't. I couldn't get the inspiration or desire even though the idea was there. I was wondering what happened?was I going back to my old ways? Was I depressed? Was I in a "I don't care mood" Then, I realized that it was just life giving me the chance to take a little time off for me, myself and I. A lot of people do not enjoy those little moments because what they see is frustration, "laziness" or anything related to it. Yet can you just stop and analyze why you feel the way you feel instead of looking for something to do right away?. It is OK to want to do things but it is even better to appreciate the quiet moments when you can listen to your deep inner feelings and/or your soul as corny as that may sound.
I have improved myself so much throughout the years. I don't use the expression " I change" because I haven't. I never want to change who I am! I was created with an unique essence as a person but what I can do is to be the best I can be through improvement which is not the same as change.
I have seen people living my dreams and let me thinking maybe I would be happier if I was the doctor I wanted to be, already had an amazing job as an economist, were living on my own, or maybe if I was already starting a family? But you know what I stopped myself and said..."Everyone has a different road to travel. Each one of us will happy on our own terms and ways, but will still struggle now and then. Life is so bitter sweet for you or me to be jealous about others people happiness even though its a fair human reaction. Even though you may think they are the happiest people in the world, they may be fighting their own battles. We all have our awesome and darkest moments but what it is important is to appreciate it because whatever happened in your life lead you to the "here and now." Maybe it is not exactly where and how you wanted things to be but you can do something to change it. Worst case scenario... there is nothing you can change, then see it differently and make the best of it. Sounds so good right? better said than done? Epic true but you know what... Even though I may be scared at times because my life is constantly changing and nothing is for certain, I know I give my best and that's what matters. I will not have regrets even if I fail because I know I give it a shot and put my heart and brain into to it.. no matter what it is or in what aspect of my life. There may be people who said they care for me but bailed on me when I needed them the most and you know what that's their lost. I'm never even going to be an ass@#% type of person because they were to me or will do it to someone else. I will just be the nice & sweet me to the ones worth to see that aspect of me. I may ignore, don't answer or completely disappear and they will wonder why...They will have to finally have the courage to admit they hurt me and will feel bad because they lost someone loyal and that will have never given up on them. They might want to come back and they can as long as they will be full time people in my life and have pure intentions..if not, they can live their lives away from me.
I am focus on me and my love ones. Trying to focus on my goals as a professional and person. Prepare for the worst and hoping for the best. Life will never be easy but with the right mindset you can definitely get far in life. Destiny does not work alone, you gotta make the moves as well. Time will help things fall into place as long as you keep on going. Follow your heart and brains, the path that will lead you to your happiness. Be true to yourself and respect people in every way and level. Be a doer !