Lateral Thinking [new me]

   Some people think people never change, some think otherwise what I believe is that people don't change but they do improve themselves if they are truly open to that option if not, things will always be the same no matter what they say....
   Life is always changing and giving you unexpected surprises or maybe you might see them coming but did not want to accept [whether they are good or not so much]. Sometimes the word "change" makes us fear of what is coming and that should not be the case. Even though some changes are needed but not wanted [or the opposite], they happen for a reason. Changes make you stronger, wiser and help to see things from a different prospective. 
   Along your life you will see that people come into your life to give you lessons whether is through tears or smiles. The ones who are meant to be in your life for ever will always be no matter who or what want to ruin that link [ whether is a friendship or anything else- more-]. When it comes to love you will see that if you are meant to be with someone, things will happen when they are supposed to happen. Maybe you will say a lil good bye and later on reconnect with a stronger connection  and that time NOTHING and NOONE will break both of you apart  Or maybe someone else will make you realize why it didn't work with the previous(s) person(s). 
   Honestly and loyalty are very important aspects of any relationship. If someone want to be honest with you, they would be since day one and it is the same if that person want to lie and be fake. No matter what you say, ask etc you just have to trust unless they give you reasons not to and hope for the best. Time will show you that person's true colors. Truth always comes out. Also, many people blame media about the drama in their lives. Media only spread it but the one creating it is every single one of us through our actions. Then, take responsibility for it. If you don't want drama ignore stupid stuff said by ignorant people or don't make the mistakes you are doing [ check your conscious about what you been doing]. You cannot always blame someone or something for everything that happens on your life. Just be happy but NOT at expense of someone's else's
   Now last and most important, never change yourself just because someone wants you to UNLESS that person  makes you see what you doing is hurting not only them but most important hurting you. Improve yourself as much as you can because at the end of the day that will not only make you happy but everyone who truly loves and cares about you. Have goals in the short and long run so you are able to see the steps you need to follow to accomplish you main goal(s). Learn to forgive the ones who hurt you because it is good for you and it will help you to keep on going. Forgiveness is definitely not easy yet it is not impossible. Do good because everything you do always! comes back around and when you least expect it, you will see it happening. Finally, never forget that you are not alone, God is always with you whether you want to believe it or not. He is the only one that will help you along the way like no one else can...

   

Detenidos en un momento

Todos de alguna manera estamos detenidos en el tiempo, en algún momento, en algún hecho, en algún hecho que nos marco para siempre…

Todos tenemos a alguien a quien ir a pedirle perdón o a quien perdonar.

Para transitar algunos dolores, para poder abrirnos a ellos hay que animarse a perdonar.
Perdonar es soltar la culpa, dejarla ir. La culpa es un ancla que nos detiene.

Al perdonar, al soltar la culpa, nos soltamos nosotros. Nos permitimos avanzar.

Castigarnos una y otra vez por algo que no podemos cambiar nos detiene en el tiempo.
Hay que salirse de la huella, de esos pasos que nos llevan una y otra vez al mismo camino.
Perdonar, perdonarse, es crecer.

Hay que animarse a avanzar, a no repetir las mismas respuestas a los mismos problemas.
Nos cuesta perdonarnos y eso nos destina a quedarnos congelados en el error que cometimos. No perdonarnos es nuestra forma de castigarnos.

Perdonar es más que perdonar a otro, es entender que no somos culpables de las impotencias de los otros.

Cuando repetimos aquello que nos hace mal en realidad es nuestro intento por repararlo. Es un intento porque aquello que fue no sea.
Cuando volvemos al mismo sentimiento buscamos la chance de cambiar lo que pasó. Un imposible.

Perdonarse es soltar la culpa de existir.

Hay deseos muertos, que nos atan, nos detienen en el camino. Están los otros, los que nos empujan, los que nos abren el camino.
Los deseos muertos quieren cambiar lo que no se puede cambiar. Nos hacen mirar atrás, niegan el perdón y la posibilidad de perdonar.

Perdonar es dejar en el pasado lo que es del pasado. Es acomodar ese trauma donde corresponde. Es reconstruir desde las ruinas. Es cerrar esa puerta. Es dejar que el tren avance. Es volver a jugar al partido. Es afirmar la propia identidad. Es animarse a ser otro. Es superar nuestros miedos. Es enfrentar nuestros miedos. Es luchar contra nuestros demonios. Es reencontrarse con uno mismo.

Perdonar y perdonarse es soltar eso que nos tiene detenidos en el tiempo, y al fin poderavanzar. que perdonar a otro, es entender que no somos culpables de las impotencias de los otros.

Cuando repetimos aquello que nos hace mal en realidad es nuestro intento por repararlo. Es un intento porque aquello que fue no sea.
Cuando volvemos al mismo sentimiento buscamos la chance de cambiar lo que pasó. Un imposible.

Perdonarse es soltar la culpa de existir.

Hay deseos muertos, que nos atan, nos detienen en el camino. Están los otros, los que nos empujan, los que nos abren el camino.
Los deseos muertos quieren cambiar lo que no se puede cambiar. Nos hacen mirar atrás, niegan el perdón y la posibilidad de perdonar.

Perdonar es dejar en el pasado lo que es del pasado. Es acomodar ese trauma donde corresponde. Es reconstruir desde las ruinas. Es cerrar esa puerta. Es dejar que el tren avance. Es volver a jugar al partido. Es afirmar la propia identidad. Es animarse a ser otro. Es superar nuestros miedos. Es enfrentar nuestros miedos. Es luchar contra nuestros demonios. Es reencontrarse con uno mismo.

Perdonar y perdonarse es soltar eso que nos tiene detenidos en el tiempo, y al fin poderavanzar.

Peru Test

These eight weeks ( maybe a little less,maybe a little more) have taught me so many things about life, people and myself. This has been one of the toughest situations I have ever gone through. Even though you know how things will end since the beginning, you always hope there will be room for change, a miracle. I don't know if thinking "It will be different" was a mistake or just my nature to blame. 

Since I found out I was taking this trip, I knew what it meant. The big test was coming. I knew these weeks would be as tough as I ever imagine and check reality would hit as hard as it could in every single aspect of my life. 

People can or will always try to understand how you feel ( if they actually even care) but they will never know how painful it has been unless they go through it with you or themselves [on their own].When the hardest and darkest times come in your life (no matter what aspect), reality check takes place by letting you know who will truly and really be there for you no matter what. You will know who has been loyal to you and who was just acting all along pretending they were someone they've far from being. 

I am not the most popular person. Actually I'm pretty shy and all but it's something that has an expiration date. Therefore, I could say I might not have tons and tons of friends; but I thought I did have a decent amount. However, during this whole experience I realize who I can trust and know if something happens I can call no matter time place or anything because they give me their truly support. It surprised me when someone told me " don't hesitate to think if you might or not create a problem - you never so though- cuz no matter what you can always txt or call I will be there you will always have count on me since day one" yeah, I know it's something you probably hear a lot but from this person it was true I could see it and everyone around me did too. Different story with people who was always there "supposedly " and seen me as family  or always say how much I mean to them and love me and all but they are just there for the good moments cuz when something that matters happens they are no where to be found. People are more selfish than you would ever want to believe. You need to be aware that most of the time you just count with yourself unless you have just a couple of people who are truly loyal to you whether they have your blood or not. If you know someone with a GOOD HEART [not just pretending to have one], you have found gold cuz that is in extinction unfortunately. Therefore don't be stupid or naive enough to let that go or betray them with people or situations that don't worth a freaking penny!!!. Think before you act because once you break someone's trust and heart there is no going back. Forgiveness is hard but not impossible. Yet, some people are so damn fake that they take that for granted because they know the good heart you have ( if you do) then be careful. Forgive them because its good for you! But just open your eyes even if it hurts like hell. Chances are given to people who truly deserve it so think about it twice before you do it. Besides if you are the one asking for another chance make it worth it and don't be using that person cuz you know they care and love you and keep using the same excuses to do the wrong thing ...

Everything is changing

My life has been the "victim- beneficiary" of many changes since 2007. Moving to a new country, knowing what love is for the first time, getting to know myself, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life [career],being independent, getting my heart broke a couple of times, realizing some people were fake, dating, getting to know what I truly want in someone, having a tough family situation, once again falling in-love and now feeling my life will change 360 any minute.
I realize that even in my craziest dreams, I could have never imagined how my life have turned out to be so far. Some of the things I've gone through were awesome and will always bring a smile. Others really crush my heart into millions of pieces making me feel the worst pain. And some I just wish happened in a different way or not at all.
Every day I get to know a little more about myself and the people that are part of my life right now. When you least expect it, they will say something and you end up  thinking o.O is this person for real?The whole concept you have changes on the blink of an eye. I may not agree with what they say, do, live  BUT I try to understand where they are coming from.
On the other hand, right now I feel like I have a "tornado" of emotions and thoughts in my head 24/7. Having some "gut feelings" that I am not sure if its presages or fears trying to break me down. I feel like one of the biggest changes in my life is about to happen and that freaks me out in ways I never felt before. I know it is out of my hands and there is no way to control the outcome of what is happening; but I also know I am strong and have nice people by my side. Some of them are people I didn't even realize they care as much as I feel they do[ I might be wrong tho]. I even tear with one of them I guess because she is a mother and that type of connection made me feel secure enough to let my guard down.
It took me a while to accept that I don't like drastic changes. I am afraid of them.Yes, I am a control freak in some weird level. I life to control my emotions and feelings. I like to know where exactly I stand with every single person in my life. I question their opinions about me and anything they feel towards me. I know I am a very caring and emotional individual but I hate crying. Crying in front of people or talking about my emotions makes me feel like I'm letting them know all my weaknesses and hell that should not happen no matter what because I am "unbreakable". However, I am emotional roller-coaster with a couple of people because I trust them plus they are important to me. BUT still I always wonder If I am doing the right thing by opening so much.
I know I'm 22 about to be 23 life will not be the same if what I think will happen actually happens. Time to grow up and wear the " woman" pants I've been working on fitting in. Time to fight against the world for what I want and deserve in every aspect of my life [personal, academic-professional,familiar].  If there is a problem, I will try to find a solution. If someone takes me from grated, they will be out of my life. I'm afraid some of the chapters in my life will end at any minute because of different reasons but I guess time will tell and it will end up as it suppose to be.
All I know is that what is mean to happen, IT WILL HAPPEN whether it brings tears or smiles...hopefully the second option and I'm like the Phoenix bird.I will always rise...

Another day...

Tonight is one of those night that I have so many thoughts in my head some from my past, others from present and future. I have a brain who won't shut up and always be thinking and thinking even though I know some stuff is not only up to me. I don't know if worrying/ carrying too much is a good thing or a curse instead but that's me and I just have to accept it.
I know I've always said you cant live in your past or future but I am aware that the past is still part of us [ who we are now] because it has shaped us. Even though the future is yet to come and it varies with every decision we take, we base our present decisions about the future we might like to have. Everything is related in a simple but complicated way. For example, even though I tried not to live in past, it has created some fears that I will always fight against. Even though I have gone through some difficult times in every aspect in my life, I understand why it happened [ at least most of those episodes]. No ones life is perfect. There will be ups and downs but the important thing is to lear from that and NOT make the same mistake again. Appreciate the things we have and specially the people who truly love and care for us because sometimes we can take them from granted till we know for sure we are about to lose them. Never push anyones limits because when you least expect it, that person will get tired of being good to you and try, and will just leave you. I have cried from the most deepest sadness and happiness. I have loved and be loved.  People has hurt me the worst way possible but I decided to give them a second chance. Don't get me wrong I am a good person and if I see the person deserves a second chance I have made the exception give it to them. HOWEVER, if I see they don't appreciate it as they supposed to, I just decide to keep my distance and that link is over.
In my present, I am thankful for everything I have accomplished so far. I graduated from college with honors and now I'm about to graduate from university with a good academic standing. Even though I have realize some of my "closest friends" who always said how much they love me are fake people, I am thankful to know I have some people who I can truly count on. At the moment, I have a good person by my side who's been there for me as I've been there for him, who I will aways wish the best and I hope I'm [always] part of his life one way or another [ even though it is not only up to me]. I have a nice family even though they are crazy sometimes or we might not agree on everything. On other side, I'm deeply sad because of some family situation [ people close to me know it] I am afraid that this will have a bad ending soon but again it is not up to me. I hope with all my heart God just give me more time and we can enjoy the stages in my life I wanna accomplish.
Finally, lately [since february] I've been thinking about my future in every aspect. It's been always easy for me to imagine my future when it is academic- professional related. However, when it comes to personal stuff I've always been afraid to do so. Something happened this year that make me see different in some way. Before if I thought about marriage and kids, I would be" hey what the hell are you thinking?" Now, I am not afraid to say than yes I hope and wish for the day I get engaged and married. I wanna have kids and be the best mom I could ever be. Even though I am young, I am aware of how much work a kid involves, how expensive and demanding it is and I'm not talking about having a baby tomorrow but when I am married and able to give that baby( ies) everything they deserve and need. Knowing that I truly want and hope one day to be a mom is exciting but scary. Still to early to know how things will turn out to be....From now at least I wanna successfully graduate, get a decent job and get as far as I can in life. After that, things [marriage &motherhood]  will fall into place when they should.
All I know is that I'm trying my best. I want to be the best I can be to the people I love and care about. I wanna make them happy and proud to have me in their lives. Some people say I am grate some might not think so. All I want is to be happy in every aspect of my life and the same goes to my loves ones.

Get to know me - Capricorn

Personality Descriptions

Capricorns take things seriously. Capricorns can solve any problem, and enjoy the mental and physical challenge of difficult problems. Capricorns are wary, and do not trust others easily. Because of that, we do not make friends easily and quickly. But once a trust is established, we remain loyal and true. We behave with dignity, and do not like to hurry. We are very stubborn, and this leads to dogmatic tendancies. Caprincorns can sometimes lack a sense of humor, their dry wit biting. Capricorns can and do work hard for long periods of time, and have achieved preeminent positions worldwide. Like their symbol -- the goat -- Capricorns can face any challenge. Capricorns also have a very good memory, being able to hold many, many minute details or facts over long periods of time. This gift also makes Capriocorns unwilling to forgive: we have been known to hold grudges for many years. Capricorns often drown themselves in work to avoid the emotional part of life. Capricorns like to be in control of things, though you tend to be rather delicate and emotionally fragile.

More Personality Descriptions
•    As a parent, a Capricorn is paternal/maternal, responsible, dutiful: always looking out for the best for one's family. Capricorns want their children to succeed, and will provide them with whatever they need to better their lives. Capricorn parents do not spoil, and help focus drifting artistic types. You are good at teaching your kids how to reach their goals.
•    The Capricorn style is true and definite. For home decor, Capricorns choose classic looks, whether it be from Asian to Amish. In the South, the looks of 'old money' are a favorite: high ceilings, rich dark woods, rich colors. In the north, Ivy League Gothic is always a favorite. Even modern styled houses have their fine woods and solid structures. Fashion wise, once Capricorns have found a fashion image they feel comfortable in, they keep it. You buy suitable and nice clothes, and will scrounge sales to find the best deals. You stick to basics: buying only what you need.

Capricorns are like turtles. They have very resistant and tough outsides, and are quite defensive. They don't open up easily, because on the inside they are very vunerable and real. Like the turles, Capricorns will often pull the exposed pasts of themselves back inside their shells, and it difficult to get them to come back out again. They are sure, steady, and always win their race.

Capricorn Love Traits

•    Capricorns are very loyal and dedicated towards their partners. They are highly romantic 

and marry their true love.

•    People born under Capricorn take marriage seriously and do everything possible to keep 

the relation healthy.

•    If you are unfaithful or not loyal in anyway, they are very resentful even though they might 

have deep feelings towards their partners.

•    They are slow to approach and are against making any flirts or fun when it comes to love.

•    They are highly caring for their partner and always think about the emotional aspect of the 

relationship.

•    They are very tolerant in their relationships and extremely possessive of their loved ones.

•    You can depend upon a Capricorn any day.

•    You will always find them standing by your side when you need support.

•    They are not the ones to shy away from commitment.