Holding Back

This term is use more often than you think. Who hasn’t asked the person they like to not hold back on how they feeling or who hasn’t decided to hold back because they are afraid of getting hurt? Holding back is kind of a “mechanism of defense”. You try to protect your heart by not showing the emotions you might or might not be feeling at the moment. Maybe it’s because you just want to have fun then why there should be any feeling involve, right? Or maybe because the person that you might be talking to doesn’t show you the security that you need to feel to actually open your heart to them. Some of us have judged the people who hold back even got mad and said it is impossible for us to think about dating them because of it. However, have you stopped and thought why is that person holding back? Or even, maybe you are holding back without even noticing it too? Some of us do it without even knowing it because we get so used to hold back so we will not get hurt or at least that’s how we want to see it. Is that really true or does that even work? I guess it can work for a while. However, everything has a risk and you know it. When you get so used to hold back, there is a moment when you realize you might start having feeling for someone but you will not let yourself show those emotions for different reasons. Sometimes because for you there will be no point on showing them since you are not sure If the person feels the same way so what’s the point on taking that path because when you admit how you feel then you will have to deal with that whether you like it or not. Another reason is because even though you want to show those feelings; you just don’t know how to do it anymore. You try to do something and the outcome is way different. At that moment is when you start thinking if it is worth to hold back all the time or when it is necessary to do so. There is not an exact answer to those questions, it depends on each person and how you want to live your life. However, you should think if it's really worth it or it’s better to take a chance even thought you might end up hurt? In my case, I could say I’m so used to hold back than sometimes it is a little difficult to show how I truly feel. I will not deny that in some cases it was worth to hold back but in another I lost that chance because I did it. That's life, isn’t it? Some people like to live their lives based in risks but life in general isn’t a bunch of risks? Holding back, love, friendships, careers, almost everything is a 50-50 chances. There is no magic recipe to take the option that will bring you to success so I guess you should try to look for the balance based on the case and situation you are in… On the other hand, if you are on those people who are always asking the person you like to stop holding back try to think beyond that fact and understand why it's happening. Maybe he/she is just afraid of getting hurt ( past experiences) or maybe it’s that he/she is waiting to see and feel secure enough to show his/hers true feelings. Don’t complain about it! Instead try to make them feel it is OK to show how they feel and that you will appreciate and protect- respect those feelings. Things might or might not work out between you two but the most important thing is to respect how the other person feels whether you like or feel the same way or not. Remember there is KARMA and if you play with someone’s feeling, you should be sure that will come back to you. Never ever be sorry for what someone can feel for you! That is one of the worst things you can do or say to someone. Appreciate how that person feels about you even more if you know that is how he/she truly feels (This does not mean you have to feel the same way).