Things You May Not Know about Me [Part IV]

• I want my midnight kiss on New years eve lol don't judge I'm corny like that XD
• Things I need to keep working on : let go resentments and be more affectionate- expressive.
• I am glad there is still that "cold side" of me particularly when I have to confront emotional-heartbreaking situations. 
• In the last couple of months I met a couple of people that have impact my life in way they don't know and no matter what I am glad I met them. 
• When I decide to take distance with someone, I do it for real. If we are meant to be part of my life, the time we talk again will come if not it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do it is not always easy. 
• I am very understanding when I care about someone but if that person acts like an idiot then I start taking decision based on my sake no matter if that person agrees or not.
• When it comes to my feeling towards someone I am straight as I can be. If i see you as friend, sister-brother-acquaintance, future bf , completely stranger or whatever ask me and I will tell you. I don't hold back when it comes to that.  
• I seriously don't get hint. you have to be direct if you wanna know something related to me (feelings or anything)
• No guy I dated or liked ever-before gave me flowers/roses -.- that's sucks and its sad xD lol don't judge XD
• When I text I use a lot of emoticons XD so be ready :) 
• I strongly like those morning text or just random text in which someone tell you they misses you or anything nice showing you how much they care about you ( from family, relatives, friends or that special one)
• My strength and weakness is that I care too much. I wonder what I can do to make people lives better ( the ones i care about) and some take that for granted.
• I am rational person more than emotional.  I wonder why certain situations happened even though nothing can be done to fix them ( at least some of them) People can criticize me for this but thats how I am. I like to know the why-reason why things happened because that way I can do something about it in my present to improve my future.
• I believe in forgiveness and given second chances. However, I won't deny that I can be resentful at times particularly when that person really hurt me and betray me. I know for a fact their is one friend and one ex I haven't forgiven completely still in the process since I keep fing out more lies every time "I turn". Both of them hurt me during the worst period of my time not sure I can't forgive them unless there is a talk since every time something new that they hidden from me comes out. That doesn't stop me from living and giving people chances - to the ones deserving it- whether it is the first or second. 
• I push myself too hard in every aspect. I want to fulfill the expectations my love ones have or at least try to because thats my way of showing them I love them. Even though I give myself time to heal, I'm tough on myself giving me  little personal tests related to that "scar" or situation. I know that life isn't easy and not because it may still hurt that person/situation will disappear so I gotta "man up" and confront it, put it in my face to admit and move on.
• I may act cold or serious about so many things or when it comes to take decision in all aspects of my life. However, I have a warm and caring heart and when I love/care about someone I do it with all I got. I don't put up with betrayal in any type of way or form.
• I was a witness on how fake people can be. I mean i was close to that person ( not any more cuz of betrayal and that person hurt me in any way possible even though it will never admit it), that person's friends will stab that person's back like there was no tomorrow. It is so sad people like that exists but once again both were all liars so i guess they were meant to be in each other lives as "best friends" or whatever kind of link they have.
• I will never EVER cheat because I know how painful that is. Plus I wanna be able to look in to my boyfriend/fiance/husband and know that I faithful and loyal because I am committed when I am in a relationship... I cannot understand why people cheat. how can they live with so much shame (if they feel it) and see their partner like nothing happened or even say i love you and act like they actually mean it.
• Father -son/daughter or self sacrifice scenes make me tear  :'3
• If something bothers me I will let that person knows but if I've said it so many times then what I do its to shut down because if that person knows what bothers me and keep doing it there is no point. Plus if you know you screw it then do something I don't have to let you know every freaking time. I am very simple and you can read my mood on my face.. I don't fake it.
• I strongly dislike when people change when they have girlfriend/boyfriend. One thing is that person is special to you and another is that you start treating like crap to your friends.relatives who have been there for you. That's not cool at all. Keep your feet on the ground! 
• I may act cold under certain circumstances or when drastic decisions have to be done. Yet I am very emotional and sensitive lol. A Love letter, emotional scene on a TV show or movie or someone showing me hoe they appreciate-care-love me can make me tear like a baby lol.
• I usually don't make promises but when I do, I do everything I can to not break them.
  

You Suck at Love [By S.P]

We started off incredible
Connection undeniable
I swear I thought you were the one forever
But your love was like a loaded gun
You shot me down like everyone
'Cause everyone's replaceable
When you're just so incapable
Of getting past skin deep

Guess what, another game over
I got burned, but you're the real loser
I don't know why I've wasted my time with you
You're bad news, a history repeater
You can't trust a serial cheater
You're good at hooking up but you suck at love

You played me like an amateur
Then stabbed me like a murderer
I'm left for dead, another one of your victims
It's not like you're unpredictable
But your act is so believable
I know it's nothing personal, it's just business as usual
You're good at what you do

Now I kinda feel bad for you
You're never gonna know
what it's like to have someone to turn to
Another day, another bed
It's just a game inside your head

You've messed this whole thing up
Well you were such an awesome fuck
But you suck at love, you suck at love

Boomerang

Life is a circle. What you give, it is what you get. Karma exists no matter what religion you are or  whether or not you believe there is a higher power. Everything is about balance. Think twice before making a move not only because you will create your own karma but because as an INTELLIGENT human being you should be aware that everything you do will have good or bad consequences. If you would like - would hate someone do that to you, then why would you do it to someone? Life and karma will give you the "check" when you least expect it and with something that its the dearest to you. Do not play games with anyone. Do not hate anyone. Spread good vibes. Be cautious with your words and acts. Peace Out.

Don't be a victim

Do not complain and be a victim about what happens instead acknowledge it and if it is good, enjoy and appreciate it; yet if it is bad, learn and help you heart grow stronger than it was before. Life was never and will never be easy. It is a roller coaster but what is important is how you deal with every situation that comes along. You may want to give up but it will be up to you and what you want for yourself to decide whether or not it is the right choice. Learning is a non ending process. Love is amazing and will bring many smiles and many tears. Know what you made of will be tested every step of the way. Opened eyes is a requirement for everything family and even more when it comes to friendships and romances. Trust enough in your intuition about people because it gives you sign you may not see with your eyes. Give yourself and people chances as long as they deserve it and you are good with yourself- are beneficial for you. Positive and realistic point of view will help you when the blues surround you. Yet most important believe in yourself, if you don't...no one will. 

I dont understand...

Good Me, Bad Me

Nowadays people try to hide their flaws so much pretending to get as closed as they can to perfection. Yet, don't you remember you are human therefore there will be things about you that will be lovable and other not so much. The point is to be real about who you are. Be proud not arrogant about the good things about yourself. Admit you have flaws but work on them! Being not perfect is understandable but NOT AN EXCUSE ... so here goes my list about the things I like about myself and the things I know are not lovable at all about me and I am working on :)... enjoy lol

Bad Things About Me:

• I don't forget easily. Therefore sometimes I may be resentful towards some people. It depends on what happen, if there was a talk about it and how I consider that person.
• I can be a little jealous and protective.
• I don't usually get very insecure but when I do it is because I've been pushed to that point by someone or something.
• I shut down when I am angry, upset and extremely stressed out...better than take it on someone at least to certain point. 
• When something big happens in my life and it is not good at all I bottle it up or take care of it on my own. At first I don't let people help me which isolates them.When I am ready, I reach for them and let them know what happen or ask for help.. yet not all people have the patience to understand and leave by then.
• For me it is easy to say good bye so if I fight you/something, appreciate it. 
• I hate feeling vulnerable or cry in-front of people. There are very few few people saw me break down because at that point I trusted them enough to see me in my "fragile" stage.
• I tend to worry too much lol don't judge
• I have my moments that I like to be spoiled .. meaning someone to cuddle and show me they care and appreciate me... not too much tho XD or I get allergies lol jk jk 
• I dont "spill all the beans" right away. I say what I need to say YET if you push me or whatever I may say everything I've ever felt and thought lol When it comes to actually like/love someone, I need to feel secure enough before I admit it to that person (in his face) lol 
• If someone wanna take distance from me, I may try to contact the person once or twice. I don't chase people. They wanna leave they can....no matter what the relationship with that person is. 
• I like to joke around only with certain group of people.
• I can be stubborn. When I have a strong opinion about something, I will defend it.

Good Things About Me:

• Faithful, honest as much as I can & Loyal.
• I care and love too hard. I like to support my love ones.
• If you need me I will be there as much as I can no matter when or where I am.
• I am strong, hard working and persistent.
• I am sensitive and expressive but only with selective group of people.
• I like to take care of the people I care and love.
• I will be there when no one else will be. 
• Mature for my age ( still way to go lol ), realistic...knows how to behave depends on where and with who I am.
• Give good advise.
• I have a noble heart.
• I like to focus on my studies or professional matters.
• Independent as much as I can and try to look after my finances lol
• I love and I'm kinda good with kids.. which mean I have patience but not for b.s lol 
• I am very family orientated. No matter what happens I love my family and always be there for them as much as I can.
• My mood is easy to read but not my feelings. Wanna know how I feel, ask xD
• I don't trust easily but when I do i do it with all my heart.
• I give second chances to people who deserve it but with restrictions. If I see that person is putting the effort , I will the the effort as well beyond what my comfort zone as I said before it hard for me to forget when someone hurts me. 
• Before I point out someones mistakes I start with mine. When I realize I made a mistake, I admit it and apologize for it.
• Problem solver. I like to talk about things yet when I reach the point I feel feed up with some behaviors or excuses, I tend to distant myself. 
• I am a very nice and friendly person even when people are not to me. But I have be it for long enough till I am feed up with it and decided to not show whether I care or not.  One thing is for sure no matter what if that person truly needs me i will be there till they are on their feet. 
• When I make a promise I do everything in my power to keep it.. if i know i wont.. then I dont do it and lie to the person about it or worst lie to me about it.

Well here is the "medium" list of what I bring to the table.. the good and the bad lol... what you see is what you get. I avoid playing games or pretending someone I am not. This is me, the imperfect but unique me. I may have my flaws and a very strong character/personality but my heart has pure intentions. When I care and/or love someone, I do it and that will never end it may be transformed but the feeling will be there...that's just me whether I told to that person(s) or not ... Love me or hate me, I wont change .. I will only improve :)

D.E.A.T.H

This is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people including me. In the last year two people I knew died. One of them was a terrible loss because it was my mother and the other a good man who I just found out just died or not so long ago. I had the pleasure of meet him and I am sure his family will miss very much because he was a good husband, father and grandfather.
I don't really know how to deal with death. Two people I loved with all my heart my grandfather (RIP April 21, 2005) and mom (RIP september 29,2013) died when I least expected and I reacted differently.
There is no words that will help with the pain. Yes support of your love ones and people will help you but the pain is alive and inside of you. The first time I lived the whole experience right away. I wanted to be surrounded by my love ones and all. However, the second time, when my mom died, I wanted to be alone. I did not have the time to live and feel the pain because I was in my last semester as a senior in MSU and I had to keep on going. It was my mother's dream...to see me graduated and a professional. I blocked all emotions about it and other previous situations during that period of time till december when I finally broke down and lived what I needed to lived.
There is people who went, are, or will go through that. I am sorry you will see your love one(s) go but they are going to a better place.No that won't make the pain go away but at least it may help you Last year someone told me " stop crying, you can fix anything. You cannot get depressed" He was right and wrong. Right because yes you cannot make them come back to live if you get depressed. Wrong, because you need to cry and let it out. Feel the pain will hurt like hell, believe me but sometimes you need to feel it. There will not be anything that will make the pain go away. I am sorry for that as well. I know it because after almost a year since my mother passed away I still cry and break down since I was not there when she took her last breath. What I can tell you is that time and the support of your love ones and yourself will help you to keep on going. You learn how to live with the fact they are not physically with you but will always be in your mind and heart. They will never die as long as you keep their memory alive through actions. Make them proud of you every step of the way. Talk to them when you are alone in your room no matter why people think about it.
You will never understand how much it hurts till you lose someone you love. If you know someone who may be going through that, give them your support... no big speeches are necessary just knowing that they count on you will be the best gesture you can have... just a hug, listening to what they have to say - talking can help even though it hurts- or just be there without saying anything....
Time will help you understand that it was their time. You had the pleasure to meet them and have you as part of your life. There will be many whys with no answers because it is part of life. Thing will get better and if you need help, ask for it so people can do something about it. You are not alone but it is a long way.

No Vuelvo [ Por V.M & K]

Hoy vienes a pedirme perdón Que no quisiste irte así Que aunque ya es tarde  Quisieras explicarme que el miedo te ataco Y preferiste huir  Yo nunca supe que te paso .Pasaron muchos días, sin una explicación.Las noches eran siglos.La soledad me hizo Ahogarme en el dolor Y algo en mi cambio y hoy.Te digo que... no vuelvo

No tuve que pensar de nuevo  Y me tuve que olvidar de ti Tuve que levantarme del suelo en donde me cai

Y aprendí... que yo solito puedo no necesite de ti  Pude ser feliz de nuevo y no sé qué haces aquí  Yo no sé cuánto llore  En mi cama sin poderme dormir  Esperando a ver si regresabas  Yo no sé cuánto te ame

En cambio sé que nunca nunca olvidare Como te marchaste sin decirme nada...

Hoy vienes a pedirme perdón.Después que te marchaste así.Me dices que yo tenía la razón cuando te dije

Que nadie te amaría como te amaba yo Pregunto si te ha ido mejor.Si encontraste un nuevo amor.Me dices que lo sientes.Dices que te arrepientes Que la melancolía te acorrala y te alarga los días Y hoy te digo que... no vuelvo

Yo no puedo recordar Lo mucho que yo te ame Solo sé que entregue todo  Y yo mismo me lastime

Miss Moving On [By F. H]

I'm breakin' down Gonna start from scratch Shake it off like an etch-a-sketch My lips are saying goodbye My eyes are finally dry

I'm not the way that I used to be I took the record off repeat It killed me but I survived And now I'm coming alive

I'll never be that girl again No

My innocence is wearin' thin But my heart is growing strong So call me Miss movin' on

I broke the glass that surrounded me I ain't the way you remember me I was such a good girl

So fragile but no more I jumped the fence to the other side My whole world was electrified Now I'm no longer afraid It's Independence Day

Everything is changing and I never wanna go back to the way it was I'm finding who I am and who I am from here on out is gonna be enough

Perfect for Cheaters

Figther

After all that you put me through, You think I'd despise you, But in the end I wanna thank you, 'Cause you've made me that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true Guess I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up'Cause I've had enough You were there by my side, always down for the ride But your joy ride just came down in flames 'cause your greed sold me out in shame

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong 'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know Just how capable I am to pull through So I wanna say thank you 'Cause it

Makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I'd realize your game I heard you're going round playing the victim now But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame 'Cause you dug your own grave After all of the fights and the lies 'cause you're wanting to haunt me

But that won't work anymore, no more, It's over 'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down

How could this man I thought I knew Turn out to be unjust so cruel Could only see the good in you Pretend not to see the truth You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself Through living in denial But in the end you'll see YOU WON'T STOP ME I am a fighter and I ain't gonna stop There is no turning back I've had enough

You thought I would forget But I remembered

This pic made my day

So true some people act like this ! [Personal experience] After a relationship ends, it is when you realize how a person is because there are not more "conflict of interest" involved [ particularly when it comes to fake people] That's one of the reasons I don't reach out people who are like this whether they were friends or exs.

Tag Questions lol

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

No that I know of lol My dad was the one who chose my names lol

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Today while listening to a very emotional song

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

yes its alright!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Dont have one to be honest.. 

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Yes

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Haven't really pay attention lol I guess I will ask to the ones I talk to the most

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Maybe

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Captain Crunch

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Most of the time.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Yes

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Love ice cream <3 lol the only flavor I hate so far is green tea lol

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Whether or not they look into your eyes while speaking. The way they look at people and all that.

15. RED OR PINK?

Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I can be resentful.  It takes me a while to be able to express my feeling and sometimes may not have the proper filter lol. A little jealous - nothing crazy tho - and very protective of the ones I love.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

 My mom, grandfather and uncle :) love them to the moon and back.

18. WHAT IS THE SPARK FEATURE THAT HAS HELPED YOU THE MOST?

Too many to mention xD

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

black

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

banana smoothie X)

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

angel by theory of a dead-man

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

dark blue

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

beach, cinnamon, vanilla , roses, jasmine.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

Alejandra

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

Both

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Soccer lol I blame my uncle for this lol

27. HAIR COLOR?

Dark brown.. coming back to it soon enough

28. EYE COLOR?

brown and love it!

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

yes

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Food is my soul-mate lol jk but not really into soups or too spicy food.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

both ... I am a women and dream about happy ending ( not that they are completely real xD) but I enjoy getting scared lol dont ask xD

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Tammy

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

pink xD (PJs)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Winter... cant believe it myself lol

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Love both lol but depends on who are giving them lol

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?

love dessert .. I don't discriminate lol

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

Zumba... best of total body!

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

I could live without TV cause Computer has TV on it LOL! but i love both!

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

The secret of the seven seeds by David Fischman.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

nothing

41. ANY TATTOOS?

Two

42. FAVORITE SOUND?

Ocean or rain

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME IN 2013?

Peru - USA

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

Being myself lol

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Lima, Peru

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

New Jersey, USA

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

white

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

Don't own a car! :'(

50. ANY PETS?

nope