D.E.A.T.H

This is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people including me. In the last year two people I knew died. One of them was a terrible loss because it was my mother and the other a good man who I just found out just died or not so long ago. I had the pleasure of meet him and I am sure his family will miss very much because he was a good husband, father and grandfather.
I don't really know how to deal with death. Two people I loved with all my heart my grandfather (RIP April 21, 2005) and mom (RIP september 29,2013) died when I least expected and I reacted differently.
There is no words that will help with the pain. Yes support of your love ones and people will help you but the pain is alive and inside of you. The first time I lived the whole experience right away. I wanted to be surrounded by my love ones and all. However, the second time, when my mom died, I wanted to be alone. I did not have the time to live and feel the pain because I was in my last semester as a senior in MSU and I had to keep on going. It was my mother's dream...to see me graduated and a professional. I blocked all emotions about it and other previous situations during that period of time till december when I finally broke down and lived what I needed to lived.
There is people who went, are, or will go through that. I am sorry you will see your love one(s) go but they are going to a better place.No that won't make the pain go away but at least it may help you Last year someone told me " stop crying, you can fix anything. You cannot get depressed" He was right and wrong. Right because yes you cannot make them come back to live if you get depressed. Wrong, because you need to cry and let it out. Feel the pain will hurt like hell, believe me but sometimes you need to feel it. There will not be anything that will make the pain go away. I am sorry for that as well. I know it because after almost a year since my mother passed away I still cry and break down since I was not there when she took her last breath. What I can tell you is that time and the support of your love ones and yourself will help you to keep on going. You learn how to live with the fact they are not physically with you but will always be in your mind and heart. They will never die as long as you keep their memory alive through actions. Make them proud of you every step of the way. Talk to them when you are alone in your room no matter why people think about it.
You will never understand how much it hurts till you lose someone you love. If you know someone who may be going through that, give them your support... no big speeches are necessary just knowing that they count on you will be the best gesture you can have... just a hug, listening to what they have to say - talking can help even though it hurts- or just be there without saying anything....
Time will help you understand that it was their time. You had the pleasure to meet them and have you as part of your life. There will be many whys with no answers because it is part of life. Thing will get better and if you need help, ask for it so people can do something about it. You are not alone but it is a long way.