How to Get a Girl [By T.S]

Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain  She'll open up the door and say "Are you insane?" Say it's been a long 6 monthsAnd you were too afraid to tell her what you want. And that's how it works. That's how you get the girl. And then you say.

I want you for worse or for better,
I would wait forever and ever,
Broke your heart, I'll put it back together.
I would wait forever and ever.


Remind her how it used to be  With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks  Tell her how you must have lost your mind.  And you left her all alone, and never told her why. And that's how it works. That's how you lost the girl.And now you say


I want you for worse or for better , I would wait forever and ever, Broke your heart, I'll put it back together. I want you forever and ever.

Good Bye 2014...Hello 2015

          Last year was full of challenges. Challenges that made me confront me, everyone and everything to the max. One thing after another brought me to the "fire line"where and when you decide what you want to do with everything that is happening at that right moment. I lost the most important people for me at that moment... some physically, some emotionally, some both. It is extremely hard to know that the person(s), the image you had of them, vanish in front of your eyes. Letting go and understanding situations are extremely hard. You can be rational about situations, see and acknowledge how things went down but the heart don't always follow at least not right away.
        Betrayal and death are two main things that can break you down and put you on your knees. Both cases can be literal or not so much... it comes in many ways and forms ( friendships- romantic relationships). The image you have of someone can die very easily when that person decides to act "like God" and pretend that there will be no consequences and everything will be justified. It is a break it or make it I guess. The betrayal, death or anything like that will be step 1... whats next..what you do with what happens is as important... ( both are by the way)...
        During the first part of 2014, I pushed myself to feel everything EVERYTHING from pain to range , from love to nearly hate. I needed to open every single wound, clean it and heal it properly. Some people say that when something hurts you or you hate someone its because you love them but... is that true? I mean that could be the door for that feeling because of the level of love and importance you have giving that person / situation but the actual feeling ( anger, hate) is independent from love?Those feeling just cross road with love but they don't co exist.
        There was that moment of anger for numerous things that has happened in my life.. things that make you question everything, life , even yourself. I know improvement, moving on and forward from any negative experience takes time... but at the same time I am a big believer that you may have to push yourself from time to time because if you don't make the first move, no one else will make it for you.
        After that period, I was wide awake about everything I understood why, when, how and what happen. P.D I understood which is not the same than justify! I am human and still question some- certain points and situations but I decided to do something with it. I realize that yeah nothing will stop me from keep on going even when I am broken and down to my knees. Yet, I am fragile enough to admit what I have felt and I do not feel bad being vulnerable.
         I met someone in particular that made me question things. That person doesn't even know it probably lol Yet the indirect influence quick me hard and deep. I start questioning what I really want for myself in every aspect and what I am actually doing to make it happen. It is easy to blame the past, people, situations about what may have been happening in your past/present but what are you actually doing to stop those cycles? I don't minimize the impact of situations or people in the past whether it is for better or for worst but if you don't like what has been happening, change the recipe... plain and simple right?
        Forgiveness is the most important step to keep moving forward. Yet damn, it is H. A. R. D! I've realize we all excuse people but don't forgive even if we say it... well not right away. The word forgiveness is very big, complex and involves many many things than just saying it and act like everything will be OK. Personally , forgiving involves trying to understand and listen the other person even when their actions do not "deserve it." Forgiving means yeah I remember what happen but I wont let it affect the present and most important the future. It means learning yourself and the other person(s) involved and NOT MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES or at least avoid it at all cost. It takes time and effort to do so. I am still in the process to forgive three people in my life. Those people broke my heart in different ways and are not related whatsoever.  Forgiving yourself and/or someone will be one of the toughest lessons I have learned this year and you will learn in life.
I know people are far from perfect including me but what counts are their intentions.. do they really stop and acknowledge the consequences or they were playing god and "this is not big deal if everyone does it right"  That thin line make  a HUGE difference. For example I know I have hurt people when I have pushed them away but it was never my intention. My intention was to avoid them worries that were mine. I kept my problems, feelings and more.. and kept them to myself....I have not been that expressive not because I don't feel but because I was afraid of the intensity of the feelings ( friendship and romantically- depends on the case). Another thing is betraying/cheating a friend or partner just because they "won't find out" or just to feed your ego. See the difference?
        I am not a big fan of change even though that is a constant in my life and life in general. I am trying to be more open with myself, people I care about, and everyone who actually wanna be part of my life. Trusting people is not the easiest thing for me to do but as someone says " I give the benefit of the doubt till they prove me wrong or right and I can trust a little bit more/less as time pass by" I will always give new chances to the ones who actually admit, acknowledge and learned from their mistakes. It is important to admit to yourself and people that yes you made a mistake or maybe many but most important is to actually learn form it and improve... fight  your own demons to not walk on that path again and make the ones you love suffer. If you struggle, ask for help.I will keep taking the steps I need to be happy with myself and everything that surrounds me in every aspect. Getting to know myself and giving people a chance to get to know them and for them to get to know me. Trying to express my feelings a little bit more every time so later on I don't have that regret. I will keep my moms memory with me as much as I can and always make her participate in every important event in my life.
        Another important lesson this yeah is about chances. When to give a chance to someone whether it is the first, second or n' time. I believe in second chances but under certain requirements. When you give a first chance to someone -whether it is a friendship or romance-, you are giving the benefit of the doubt. You are getting to know that person and the other way around as well. Now if that person hurts you or you hurt them that's when you both have to stop and think about everything. What you want in that relationship/friendship? is it worth it? How did it hurt you and why? Does that person is sincere with the apology? Can you forgive what happen and keep on going? There are many many things that you have to consider before you put your heart out there once again. One thing is make a mistake and another is to play "god" and knowing what you're gonna do  is wrong; but you still do it because "consequences don't apply to you or because "everyone" does then why not doing it right?".  -.- If you want a another shot as a friend or partner, be woman/man enough to admit what you did wrong before pointing the finger at anyone. Express your feelings and situations so the other person can understand but do not justify something that has no justification. Be aware that if you want that forgiveness and chance is because you are committed to avoid making the same mistake(s) if not whats the point? I rarely give many chances to people but after some situations and talking to older people I realized that I will give the chances to the people who have pure intentions. Before giving another shot to a friendship or relationship, you have to deal with the past. Making peace with the past will help you to forgive each other and truly have a new beginning. Putting the cards on the table is very important.!!!Set boundaries and limits . what will be permitted, what you can handle and what is a deal breaker. Let the other person know so they/ you cannot use the " I didn't know" card. Forgiveness is a process, one day at the time doing the right things.
         A mistake most of us make is to expect people to do what we would do for them. People will not react the same way whatsoever. We are unique human beings for better or worst. We do and have gestures with people because we want to... now if you do it thinking about what the other person will do for you .. my friend you are selfish and other adjectives may apply. Now using common sense there will be things that are "required" to happen I mean it is a matter of being polite, having respect and morals. General consideration to people and even more if it someone you "care and/or love" is the least everyone ask for.
       Faithfulness, loyalty, support, honesty, trust are based requirement for any type of relationship. No one will be happy if they find out their boyfriend/best friend/ husband/ finance/girlfriend has betray them. It takes only one time, one betrayal to break someone heart in every way possible. Thing before you act!!!!!!!!! If you wouldn't like someone doing "that" to you , then why are you gonna do it?
        Communication! this topic gives me headaches lol I am a very sensitive person. When I care and love someone, it is with all my heart. Yet I am not the most expressive person in this planet. This is because of my own personal experiences growing up that have shaped me into a very private  an reserved person about my deepest feelings. I don't mind sharing ( face to face , social media etc) normal, random, daily basis type of things. Yet if we talk about things that actually touch my heart and bring me to "my knees" I need some time to spell the beans. It is something I've been working out with help ( in the beginning) and since this year alone. It is a process. When I feel secure enough, I say it. Don't mistake it.. I say what I feel and how it is hun I don't hold back when it comes to general and important stuff. Now personally I think communication is basic in friendships and romance. You wanna feel free to tell how you feel. If you have a partner, share what you doing in a daily basis ... no like a control freak .. but it is a simple and important way to let the other person knows you care and share your "life" with them. So if someone wanna use anything to ruin you friendship or romance , they don't stand a chance. Work like the team you wanna be!
        Finally one of the last lessons that keep "appearing" in every moment is There is a difference between giving time for something to develop and happened and letting time the pass by. When you have feeling for someone, have an specific goal or want to do something, it is ok to wait and do what you need to do when you feel the time is right. Maybe won't happen right away but will eventually if it meant to be. We all as human beings are not the most patient creatures. Personally I like to know where I stand as soon as possible. However, I understand that not everyone has the same timing and ways that I am/have. I am horrible with hints you gotta tell me directly and respectfully. Now giving time is one thing, letting pass by is another, and wait forever another -.- !!!!!!! Wait the time you think is right for you and depending on the situation you are in. If it doesn't happen think whether or not it is worth waiting . This doesn't mean you don't care about the person or goal but it may mean that is not the right time or not mean to be. You gotta take the risk and move to new horizons because you cannot stop living or taking others decision based on waiting for that person or that thing to happen. Now if an opportunity appears were you can be with that person or can fulfill your goal, you take  the decision at that right moment. People mistake thinking someone or something will be there forever and thats not the case. Take your time to make up your mind but be wise with the time you use.. Time is money lol Take a chance,take a risk.. who knows where that can take you! if not don't hate when you lost it.
        I say good bye to a year full of pain and joy, laughs and tears but most important a year that has help  me to know myself better and work on things I need to improve. Another year full of challenges begins .... excited and anxious of the lessons I will have been learning ..Here I go....

Never Been Hurt [By D.L]

I felt picture perfect
On and off a shelf to a broken frame of mind, a broken frame of mind
It comes back and haunts me
A bullet undercover, it fooled me every time, it fooled me every time

But even if I lose it all
I've got so much left to give, I won't give up, no, no
My heart's on the front-line, I'm not afraid

I will love you
Like I've never been hurt
Run through fire for you
Like I've never been burned.
I'm gonna risk it all like I've never lost
Gonna give it all I've got
I will love you,
I will love like I've never been hurt, never been hurt

You set fire to ashes
You fought through the darkness and brought me back to life, you brought me back to life

I will love like I've never been hurt, never been hurt

I will love you and forever
I will love you like I never
Like I never heard goodbye
Like I never heard a lie
Like I'm falling into love for the first time

Been Lying [By R.O]

Don't wear my shades to be cool
I wear them to hide my tears from you
Behind the smoke I'm so red eye
And I'm tired of you asking why
I said I've been lying to you
And I've been lying to me too

My heart has been through hell and back
I've only dressed in pretty and black
Middle finger when it comes to love
Act like I don't really give a fuck
Cause I've been lying to you
I said I've been lying to me too

I've been lying, lying to you
Baby I've been lying, lying to me, too
I've been lying, lying to you
Baby I've been lying, lying to me, too

I don't always say what I want to say
I tattoo myself to show my pain
Don't lead in a crowded space even though we're both face to face
Cause I've been lying to you
Said I've been lying to me too

Hurry up and wake for the spotlight
Looks like another whisky night
What's inside they never expose
They only see what the camera shows
Cause I've been lying to you
Said I've been lying to me too, noo


It's like the whole world's getting at me
Tryin to make everyone happy, that ain't me
Walking around, wearing a smile, but deep down I'm really fucked up, this ain't me
I don't wanna quit, tryin to hang with this
And figure out who the hell I am
I don't mean to make you run away
But I don't wanna forget to be me

The truth is I don't wanna lose you
But I don't wanna lose me too

Heart by Heart {By D.L]

When your soul finds the soul it was waiting for 
When someone walks into your heart through an open door
When your hand finds the hand it was meant to hold
Don't let go
Someone comes into your world
Suddenly your world has changed forever

No there's no one else's eyes
That could see into me
No one else's arms can lift
Lift me up so high
Your love lifts me out of time
And you know my heart by heart

When you're one with the one you were meant to be find
Everything falls in place, all the stars align
When you're touched by the cloud that has touched your soul
Don't let go
Someone comes into your life
It's like they've been in your life forever

So now we've found our way to find each other
So now I found my way, to you

Two Pieces [By D.L]

There's a boy, lost his way, looking for someone to play

There's a girl in the window tears rolling down her face

We're only lost children, trying to find a friend

Trying to find our way back home

We don't know where to go, so I'll just get lost with you

We'll never fall apart, 'cause we fit together right, we fit together right

These dark clouds over me, rain down and roll away

We'll never fall apart, 'cause we fit together like

Two pieces of a broken heart

I know where we could go and never feel let down again

We could build sandcastles, I'll be the queen, you'll be my king

We're only lost children, trying to find a friend

Trying to find our way back home

Now I can lay my head down and fall asleep

Oh, but I don't have to fall asleep to see my dreams

'Cause right there in front of me (right there in front of me)

There's a boy, lost his way, looking for someone to play

There's a boy, lost his way, looking for someone to play

"The Man I Want To Be"

God, I'm down here on my knees
'Cause it's the last place left to fall
Beggin' for another chance
If there's any chance at all
That You might still be listenin'
Lovin' and forgivin' guys like me

I've spent my whole life
Gettin' it all wrong
And I sure could use Your help
'Cause from now on

I want to be a good man
A do like I should man
I want to be the kind of man
The mirror likes to see

I want to be a strong man
And admit that I was wrong man
God, I'm asking You to come change me
Into the man I want to be

If there's anyway for her and me
To make another start
Could You see what You could do
To put some love back in her heart?
'Cause it goin' to take a miracle
After all I've done to really make her see

That I want to be a stay man
I want to be a brave man
I want to be the kind of man
She sees in her dreams

God, I want to be Your man
And I want to be her man
God, I only hope she still believes
In the man I want to be

Well, I know this late at night the talk is cheap
But Lord, don't give up on me

I want to be a givin' man
I want to really start livin', man
God, I'm asking You to come change me
Into the man I want to be

Things You May not Know About Me [Part V]

• I've wanted to go to the Christmas tree with the person I would be dating or like ( When I do.. still single for now lol) but for one reason or another never happened yet :(
• I've seen three men cried over me. Two exes and the other one was my uncle. All of them because I was leaving one way or another. I like seeing a man cry - when its for real and not just pretend- because it shows me he is not afraid to be vulnerable and destroy all "macho" stereotypes that has been created by society ( not necessary to get to the same point]
• No matter who is or how I feel about a person, it is very easy to say good by when someone don't respect or value me  and don't look back. 
• When I am in a relationship I respect it in every way and give my all. 
• Can't handle people who don't know how to have a life outside a relationship. I know relationships need time and all but you shouldn't make it the center of your world and push the other people away. You should have and put the same effort in your personal life (friends and love), familiar and professional life. Balance!
• I don't usually " spill the beans" right away. It's the way I am, my personality. I don't play games or have a certain attitude  NO!. I say how I feel when I feel secure enough or I feel its the moment. 
• I am horrible at giving gifts because I never know what to get for the person lol no matter the occasion ( birthdays, anniversary , holidays, etc). I appreciate when the person gives me options! xD just saying XD
• I have improved in many ways but still getting better.
• Forgiving is very hard for me as for anyone. I am still in the process when it comes to 3 particular people. 
• I am more aware that people make mistakes but it depends on the vibes the person gives me for me to think about giving a chance ( in case it is more then the second)
• I LOVE kids XD
• I try to give a little present to my close family every time I go visit .. idk why but I do no matter how much they cost :3
• One of my biggest dreams is to get married and start a family.
• Sometimes I am the rock for people even when I am broken down.
• I listen to music everyday.
• I never know when a guy has a crush on me, likes me or is in love with me XD
• I am trying to be more girly.. but still a little tomboy as well XD 
• I am starting to be more interesting into make up and  fashion xD once again trying to connect to my feminine side I guess 
• Betrayal is the one thing that will make me forget about someone and eliminate them from my life.
• I am a hopeless romantic who believe in love and loves roses and all that... but I still try to see love realistically because it will never be perfect.
• what I look in a partner : consistency, stability, respect, faithfulness  & loyalty.
• Things I but the most : food XD , shoes, make up, jewelry.
• I am trying to have a better diet and exercise even though sometimes I lack of motivation :3 
• People may not see the changes or moves I make because I like to go slow but consistent and going forward even during the hardest times and storms. 

Across Five Aprils - A Year From Now

Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours. In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step you took was the worst.Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark,

I still have these memories, But we'll never see what we could have been.Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember, cause that's all you can do.

I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real.You said they were, what happened? You were a priority, was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,I'm sorry that wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,

But I guess I've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?

I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

7 Things [ By M.C]

I probably shouldn't say this But at times I get so scared When I think about the previous Relationship we shared It was awesome but we lost it It's not possible for me not to care And now we're standing in the rain But nothing's ever gonna change Until you hear, my dear The 7 things I hate about you!

You're vain, your games, you're insecure You love me, you like her You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends, they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you

It's awkward and silent As I wait for you to say What I need to hear now Your sincere apology When you mean it, I'll believe it If you text it, I'll delete it Let's be clear Oh, I'm not coming back You're taking 7 steps here

Compared to all the great things That would take too long to write I probably should mention the 7 that I like about you! Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's When we kiss I'm hypnotized You make me laugh, you make me cry But I guess that's both I'll have to buy Your hands in mine When we're intertwined, everything's alright I wanna be with the one I know And the 7th thing I like most that you do You make me love you, you do

Stupid Me [By M]

Stupid me, I don't know how to slow down Felt your touch and now I want it all now Waiting by the phone begging for a call now Centuries go by, and still there's no sound

Why do you play with my heart, why do do do you? When you know that I see right through through through you?

But if you don't love me the way I love you And if you don't want me the way I want you if you don't need me the way I need you I just got one thing to say to you Stupid you

Stupid you, you don't know how to act right Gave you the best sleep you ever had in your life And all you had to do was kiss me goodnight I swear to you a woman like me you won't find

How Do you Wanna be Remembered [By M]

How do you want to be remembered? As a sinner or a saint, as a hero or a villain? Think about the steps you take How do you want to be remembered When they're standing at your grave?
On your tombstone, what is written? Think about the steps you take

All my life I've been searching for the answersHow did I lose so much of the things that really matter? Is there no paradise, cause I feel no joy or laughterSeems everything I touch only turns into disaster So I ask myself...

Do I reach for love only when he says she's leaving? Do I pray above only when I feel I'm needing? See I can't sleep at night, when sheep turn into demons There's no alibi when the jury knows your secret So I ask myself...

Cause on the day when you face judgement You better have your story straight Were you a good friend and a husband To the wife that gives you love, love, love

Break Your Heart Right Back [By A.G]

I should have saw it coming I should have saw the signs But I wanted to believe you, trust you You said you wouldn't lie But baby you were so good, so good You had me going blind You said it was your best friends, I'm guessing I wasn't your type, hey


What goes around comes around And if ti goes up, it comes down I know you mad cause I found out Want you to feel what I feel right now

Now that it's over I just wanna break your heart right back Want you to cry me a river
All this time I was blind running around Telling everybody My baby loves me


You said I was your best, would be your last Now she's gone, you're alone Don't want you back You're telling me you're sorry Well sorry, my friend Cause I've already been there, done that Ain't doing this again, no

Pack of three Theory...I am sure, am I?

Change is part of life. People come and go but some will stay. Paths cross for little, a while or "forever". Things can happen for a reason and/or just by chance. People come into your life mostly because there is a reason. Maybe it's something you gotta live, learn- though smiles or tears-, enjoy or all of the above. Yet how much do you actually pay attention and acknowledge this.

The past two to three years have been a process to get to know myself as deep as I can and get to know the people and anything that surrounds me that one way or another end up being part of my life. Now I know that some traits of my personality can tell stories about me. That I may have impacted some people's lives for better or for worst -sometimes not on propose- I know that the people that matter in my life were part of it because there was story behind what I lived or not with them- no matter what the link was-.

I don't believe people can change. The essence of someone will always be the same; however, I do believe people can improve themselves and be the best they can actually be. That battle will never be easy particularly because each one of us will have to fight our own demons.

Moving to another country, a whole new culture, has helped me grow and tested who I am and what I am made of. In my family, we always say the things come in pack of 3 and so far  it has been that way whether it is about good things or bad ones.  This “theory” is being proved once again since last year till the end of this year... Let me explain how/why…

The first trip [ last summer] was to deal about my present and everything  involved in it back then. I was on the crossroad in my life or at least that how I see it. It was a wake-up call in every aspect.  I won’t give details because they’re not necessary but the summary of it – in every point by the way- lol Family aspects, dealing with the last months my mom had. Professionally, I was entering my last semester as a senior. Finally, in my personal life, dating someone who I thought I could count on but the story proved otherwise in many ways and many times. Everything happened all at once I'm not blaming everything on anyone [my mom, life or my ex ] because I am aware I may not handle things properly besides the other facts on how things went down. However,  I thought I would have more support than what I actually had. Personal life had no support. When it comes to my family and professional life, I had to be the rock. This trip showed me that sometimes not because we are certain way to people they would appreciate it and act the same way, wrong! Friends or partners may not be as supportive as you can be during hard times. Some people can be there for you only on the bright days but won’t fight with you and by your side during the hardest battles.  Also, I learned that I have to be the rock no matter what because at some point I would have my family. I better learn to be it right now. Your responsibilities are important so you have to "suck it up" And keep on going. Life will not stop for you.

The second trip was the one I needed after everything went down and all the changes in my life happened all at once and it was time to process it. I got to grieve and push myself to face my new reality. I got my bachelors and made to the dean list which I am very proud of. Also, it was time to confront my “old” past and my recent past.  I had a deep and amazing talk with my last ex (back when I lived in my home country and I came to America for the first time). Even though we broke up around six years ago, we owe that conversation to ourselves. We talked about everything we lived together the good and the bad, why and how we broke up and handle it and all. Very nice to see that we can be friends. Glad to share his new life as a family guy. I understood that when it is true love, it never ends but only will be transformed in appreciation of those good memories. You will always care about that person. I know for a fact he loved me and would avoid anything that would hurt me. His support during my mom’s last months and after her death was appreciated. We have chosen different paths.. He is proud of me and I’m proud of him for being an amazing father to his children and family. On the other hand, my recent past needed to have some restrictions. I said part of what I have wanted to say (to be honest not even half of it). Even though that person wanted to be friends and keep in touch I couldn't... I needed distance. Things can’t be that way in the blink of an eye and even more when there is not a real mature talk like the one I previously mentioned. He really hurt me and his attitude was definitely not the best one so I decided to focus in me. Dealing with the recent past taught me I had to be a little selfish - at least in this situation- because the other person was over his head and didn't acknowledge what he caused. Before you point the finger at someone, point it at yourself. I forgive him because I don't want to have anger in my heart. I cannot say he will never be part of my present/future because last time I said that destiny slap me in the face lol. Maybe we will end up strangers, friends, more .. that only time,he and I will decide.This is not implying any type of feeling at the end of the day that’s something that will only concern me and maybe, just maybe him. All I know I am still living and pursuing my happiness. Finally going through all the obstacles alone helped me to realize than I may be fragile and emotional but I am way stronger than anyone thinks.

The trip previously mention was in December- January and since then I have been dealing with some other changes in my life professionally and personally. A transition period I would call. Opening my eyes to realities I didn't know because people hide it from me and  things I personally need to see with "other eyes" . True always comes out and I am glad it did because I am learning where I stand with every person as time pass by. Also, I spent amazing time with my uncle who came to visit. Beyond that I have met few good people particularly the last couple of months. There was someone in particular that really has helped me to question myself in numerous ways. I wont clarify whether I'm talking about a man or a woman .. not the point. This person has been the first one that has intimidated ever or in a very long time. Older than me and when we talk, I know that even tho this person may still working on the path that wanna take, has everything pretty clear. Have a clear set of goals and steps behind it whether it's professionally or personally ( family-friendships-romance). I like and admire that in someone. I am very happy I got to meet this person. I still don't know the complete reason why or for how long this person will be in my life ( a little while, long time, or life time). However, I am curious and excited to find out how all this will work out. ( Do not make conclusion only that person if he/she ever read it will know xD it could be a woman  who can end up being a good friend or best friend... or a man who can end up being a good friend or maybe even more.. you would NOT KNOW XD) ...Anyways coming back to the idea lol the last trip and the number three in the list will be the trip to me home country that will happen soon enough. Completely unexpected since after all  I thought I wouldn't go for at least two years but once again everything happens for a reason. I truly believe this trip will be about my present-future. I know I will take the time to make sure to figure out- polish the details about what I want for me professionally, familiar, and personally ( friends-romance). I cannot wait to have this new experience and see where it takes me. 

Regret or not regret... That's the Questions !

Numerous times we have heard or seen quotes like" the one who has no regrets have not lived" Then I think, are supposed to regret things to be able to say we had a "life"? Do we HAVE to make mistakes to actually learn? Till when are we going to use those excuses to justify poor decisions?.
I think we are giving an amazing life and it is up to us on how we wanna live it. There will be up as downs because that's just part of the contract. Mistakes will be made now and then because no one is perfect. Yet, we have a BRAIN to think before we act and acknowledge that everything has a price. There are limits then why push it? Sorry is a word use so much but not every time meant. The power of that word will depend on every particular situation.

This apply for friends or partners.
When you love your friend/partner
and give everything
 it hurts their betrayal.
Letting go that friendship or romance
will deff break your heart.

Most people have a double standard type of life. They live thinking they are not making mistakes at all or will do anything to justify it to anyone even themselves. But if someone else would do the same to them.. oh they would be the first ones to point the finger and curse at them till the end of days. They will talk about everything and "how things happen" making themselves the poor victims. Funny isn't? Then the person who actually got hurt ends up with a lot of resentment and regrets. Why would you do something that will hurt you to someone else even more if it actually happened to you in the past? The player the winner, the one played on the loser? Is it how it is supposed to be?
I don't exactly believe in REGRETS. Of course people will make mistakes and it is OK to make them as long as you took the time to think of the consequences before you act it out . However, this doesn't mean everything will work out. There is a difference between doing something and make a mistake; and do something YOU KNOW is wrong in so many levels and would condemn but still go ahead and do it plus even create reasons to justify your actions. Even though it will sound horrible I will admit that I feel sorry for those people who lie to their love ones without any type of hesitation even thought they are well aware of what they are doing and its consequences.
There are a few things I have experience directly or indirectly that could be considered as regrets. Yet why should I regret something when I had pure intentions and I was not the one who mess things up in the first place? Should I regret trusting on someone? Should I regret giving my heart to someone I fall in love with? Should I regret helping someone who needed me? Should I regret offering an honest friendship? Should I regret having a caring and LOYAL heart ? Hell no!!! The people who screw things up should be the ones regretting it whether you were cheated, played , betrayed on no matter how and who. It was not you fault people have lack of common sense and don't know how to love ( whether it is in a friendship or romance).  Oh no I am not playing victim XD - direct message to the haters lol- I admit I may not handle things correctly in some cases / situations. But I put up with situations I shouldn't have and that created a "domino effect". Someone can take so much b.s from people who pretend they are someone they are not. I do have regrets but are counted in one hand. Those regrets are people I hurt and shouldn't have because I know them for at least 7 years but I admit my errors to them in their faces and since then I've done everything to avoid doing what I did.
" There is no that crisis" is the biggest mistake anyone can make on their try to not ruing the relationship they can be having. You have to face the fact even if they break your heart because it is the first step to move on from the situation no matter what you want next. A real and honest talk is necessary even thought it may be too much too ask to some people particularly to the liars and cheaters particularly. Unfortunately it is easier said than done because if someone lies to you almost all the time even the actual true will sound like another lie. If you are the one asking for forgiveness and/ or another chance, make sure you can back your own words with actions from that moment on  if not, do not waste someones time with fake friendships or romantic relationships. If you will never be able to improve your ways, leave them alone because they deserve someone who actually care for them. If you will make everything in your power to not make the same mistake, look that person in the eyes and tell them everything. Actually commit  to that friendship/romance and make your actions back your words from now on. On the other side, if you are the one hurt and trying to forgive, take your time before you actually forgive someone. Do it for you before thinking about someone else. Before giving another chance, make sure you are aware of all the risks that will imply. Both people should"put the cards on the table" and take the decision.  Chances should be giving but most important cherished and appreciated.

Personally, I have very few regrets in my life as previously mentioned.Yet, what I can say is that I did what I felt was right at the moments I took certain decision whether it was standing up for something or someone I believed on. However, I do wish I was not as naive as I was in particular situations. I made mistakes even when I thought before acting because I am human. Lessons are learned the hardest way whether it is through personal experiences or family, friends, etc experiences.I am not sure if I will sin of naive again or not yet I will definitely would be more cautious, more than ever. Something I know for sure is that I will avoid doing to others something I hate to be done to me whether it is in a friendship or romance.
Another phrase I read a lot of social media is " asshole turn good girls into bitches, bitches turn good men into assholes" I think that's b.s Yes it is freaking hard to get your heart broken but why would you imitate someone who do not have respect for themselves or anyone? Why you , me or anyone should give that much power to  that kind of people? Do not change who you are based on bad experiences because life will be full of them but it will also have amazing moments that will take you breath away. Save that good heart for someone who can actually take care of it by your side - you gotta be the first one taking care of it! I will never cheat, betray  or use someone on purpose or being aware of what I am "doing". I refuse to change and be that negative and  kind of emotional sociopath. No thanks! I will not change my essence for no person or situation. I will stay the way I am caring and loving. No I am not egocentric believe me lol. I am pretty aware I have flaws lol I am improving myself and will always be. Improving yourself to be the best you can is an endless process.This also applies for the fake friendships. Sometimes we trust too much or are there for those friends we love like brothers or sisters but when we actually need them they disappear or stab you in the back one way or another. It hurts when you see that your "friends" do not have the same kind of consideration that you may have with them. In that moment you will want to make changes about the friendship and maybe even about yourself - how you get attach to people, how much you open up, how much you trust and all- Do not take drastic decision unless you are with a clear and "cold" mind. As I said before do not change yourself based on someone else [ bad ex or fake friend] or bad experience. Make adjustments you feel are necessaries but keep your essence and pure heart.
Regrets are made for the ones who are screwing things up. The ones with the "knife" on their hands not the ones with the open wound.  The truth always comes out no matter "how good of a player" you think you are. Stop manipulating people and/or situations. Karma takes its time but never ever misses. Improve yourself before it is too late whether you are the player or the played on. Be truly happy not just pretend to be. You can play games for too long before you realize what you once had/could had but lost. Be as honest as you can with people but most important to yourself. When you are telling lies all the time, there will be a point in where even the truth will taste like another lie to everyone who knows you and you will be sorry. Stop hurting people and most important yourself. Mature, admit your mistakes and have the balls to apologize for real to the ones you hurt whether or not you want them in your present and/or future life. Every action, word and more create baggage, it all comes out to what kind of baggage you want....

Be My Baby [By A.G]

If you know how to be my lover Maybe you can be my baby Hold me close under the covers Kiss me boy and drive me crazy

Be my, be my baby Baby, and drive me crazy

If you know how to treat me You know how to touch me Baby then you'll get the chance The chance to love me It's obvious I want to be into you But it all depends on all the things you do Cause babe I promise If you keep it real with me Be honest, You can get anything you want That you want babe
Just show me everything I need to see I'll give you anything boy

I'll give you all of my trust If you don't mess this up You ain' tryna get no other girls
When you in the club

All you got is eyes for me I'm the only girl you see So if you treat me right just the way that I want you Oh baby boy I promise that I'll be on you Night to the morning

Things You May Not Know about Me [Part IV]

• I want my midnight kiss on New years eve lol don't judge I'm corny like that XD
• Things I need to keep working on : let go resentments and be more affectionate- expressive.
• I am glad there is still that "cold side" of me particularly when I have to confront emotional-heartbreaking situations. 
• In the last couple of months I met a couple of people that have impact my life in way they don't know and no matter what I am glad I met them. 
• When I decide to take distance with someone, I do it for real. If we are meant to be part of my life, the time we talk again will come if not it was the right thing to do. The right thing to do it is not always easy. 
• I am very understanding when I care about someone but if that person acts like an idiot then I start taking decision based on my sake no matter if that person agrees or not.
• When it comes to my feeling towards someone I am straight as I can be. If i see you as friend, sister-brother-acquaintance, future bf , completely stranger or whatever ask me and I will tell you. I don't hold back when it comes to that.  
• I seriously don't get hint. you have to be direct if you wanna know something related to me (feelings or anything)
• No guy I dated or liked ever-before gave me flowers/roses -.- that's sucks and its sad xD lol don't judge XD
• When I text I use a lot of emoticons XD so be ready :) 
• I strongly like those morning text or just random text in which someone tell you they misses you or anything nice showing you how much they care about you ( from family, relatives, friends or that special one)
• My strength and weakness is that I care too much. I wonder what I can do to make people lives better ( the ones i care about) and some take that for granted.
• I am rational person more than emotional.  I wonder why certain situations happened even though nothing can be done to fix them ( at least some of them) People can criticize me for this but thats how I am. I like to know the why-reason why things happened because that way I can do something about it in my present to improve my future.
• I believe in forgiveness and given second chances. However, I won't deny that I can be resentful at times particularly when that person really hurt me and betray me. I know for a fact their is one friend and one ex I haven't forgiven completely still in the process since I keep fing out more lies every time "I turn". Both of them hurt me during the worst period of my time not sure I can't forgive them unless there is a talk since every time something new that they hidden from me comes out. That doesn't stop me from living and giving people chances - to the ones deserving it- whether it is the first or second. 
• I push myself too hard in every aspect. I want to fulfill the expectations my love ones have or at least try to because thats my way of showing them I love them. Even though I give myself time to heal, I'm tough on myself giving me  little personal tests related to that "scar" or situation. I know that life isn't easy and not because it may still hurt that person/situation will disappear so I gotta "man up" and confront it, put it in my face to admit and move on.
• I may act cold or serious about so many things or when it comes to take decision in all aspects of my life. However, I have a warm and caring heart and when I love/care about someone I do it with all I got. I don't put up with betrayal in any type of way or form.
• I was a witness on how fake people can be. I mean i was close to that person ( not any more cuz of betrayal and that person hurt me in any way possible even though it will never admit it), that person's friends will stab that person's back like there was no tomorrow. It is so sad people like that exists but once again both were all liars so i guess they were meant to be in each other lives as "best friends" or whatever kind of link they have.
• I will never EVER cheat because I know how painful that is. Plus I wanna be able to look in to my boyfriend/fiance/husband and know that I faithful and loyal because I am committed when I am in a relationship... I cannot understand why people cheat. how can they live with so much shame (if they feel it) and see their partner like nothing happened or even say i love you and act like they actually mean it.
• Father -son/daughter or self sacrifice scenes make me tear  :'3
• If something bothers me I will let that person knows but if I've said it so many times then what I do its to shut down because if that person knows what bothers me and keep doing it there is no point. Plus if you know you screw it then do something I don't have to let you know every freaking time. I am very simple and you can read my mood on my face.. I don't fake it.
• I strongly dislike when people change when they have girlfriend/boyfriend. One thing is that person is special to you and another is that you start treating like crap to your friends.relatives who have been there for you. That's not cool at all. Keep your feet on the ground! 
• I may act cold under certain circumstances or when drastic decisions have to be done. Yet I am very emotional and sensitive lol. A Love letter, emotional scene on a TV show or movie or someone showing me hoe they appreciate-care-love me can make me tear like a baby lol.
• I usually don't make promises but when I do, I do everything I can to not break them.
  

You Suck at Love [By S.P]

We started off incredible
Connection undeniable
I swear I thought you were the one forever
But your love was like a loaded gun
You shot me down like everyone
'Cause everyone's replaceable
When you're just so incapable
Of getting past skin deep

Guess what, another game over
I got burned, but you're the real loser
I don't know why I've wasted my time with you
You're bad news, a history repeater
You can't trust a serial cheater
You're good at hooking up but you suck at love

You played me like an amateur
Then stabbed me like a murderer
I'm left for dead, another one of your victims
It's not like you're unpredictable
But your act is so believable
I know it's nothing personal, it's just business as usual
You're good at what you do

Now I kinda feel bad for you
You're never gonna know
what it's like to have someone to turn to
Another day, another bed
It's just a game inside your head

You've messed this whole thing up
Well you were such an awesome fuck
But you suck at love, you suck at love

Boomerang

Life is a circle. What you give, it is what you get. Karma exists no matter what religion you are or  whether or not you believe there is a higher power. Everything is about balance. Think twice before making a move not only because you will create your own karma but because as an INTELLIGENT human being you should be aware that everything you do will have good or bad consequences. If you would like - would hate someone do that to you, then why would you do it to someone? Life and karma will give you the "check" when you least expect it and with something that its the dearest to you. Do not play games with anyone. Do not hate anyone. Spread good vibes. Be cautious with your words and acts. Peace Out.

Don't be a victim

Do not complain and be a victim about what happens instead acknowledge it and if it is good, enjoy and appreciate it; yet if it is bad, learn and help you heart grow stronger than it was before. Life was never and will never be easy. It is a roller coaster but what is important is how you deal with every situation that comes along. You may want to give up but it will be up to you and what you want for yourself to decide whether or not it is the right choice. Learning is a non ending process. Love is amazing and will bring many smiles and many tears. Know what you made of will be tested every step of the way. Opened eyes is a requirement for everything family and even more when it comes to friendships and romances. Trust enough in your intuition about people because it gives you sign you may not see with your eyes. Give yourself and people chances as long as they deserve it and you are good with yourself- are beneficial for you. Positive and realistic point of view will help you when the blues surround you. Yet most important believe in yourself, if you don't...no one will. 

I dont understand...

Good Me, Bad Me

Nowadays people try to hide their flaws so much pretending to get as closed as they can to perfection. Yet, don't you remember you are human therefore there will be things about you that will be lovable and other not so much. The point is to be real about who you are. Be proud not arrogant about the good things about yourself. Admit you have flaws but work on them! Being not perfect is understandable but NOT AN EXCUSE ... so here goes my list about the things I like about myself and the things I know are not lovable at all about me and I am working on :)... enjoy lol

Bad Things About Me:

• I don't forget easily. Therefore sometimes I may be resentful towards some people. It depends on what happen, if there was a talk about it and how I consider that person.
• I can be a little jealous and protective.
• I don't usually get very insecure but when I do it is because I've been pushed to that point by someone or something.
• I shut down when I am angry, upset and extremely stressed out...better than take it on someone at least to certain point. 
• When something big happens in my life and it is not good at all I bottle it up or take care of it on my own. At first I don't let people help me which isolates them.When I am ready, I reach for them and let them know what happen or ask for help.. yet not all people have the patience to understand and leave by then.
• For me it is easy to say good bye so if I fight you/something, appreciate it. 
• I hate feeling vulnerable or cry in-front of people. There are very few few people saw me break down because at that point I trusted them enough to see me in my "fragile" stage.
• I tend to worry too much lol don't judge
• I have my moments that I like to be spoiled .. meaning someone to cuddle and show me they care and appreciate me... not too much tho XD or I get allergies lol jk jk 
• I dont "spill all the beans" right away. I say what I need to say YET if you push me or whatever I may say everything I've ever felt and thought lol When it comes to actually like/love someone, I need to feel secure enough before I admit it to that person (in his face) lol 
• If someone wanna take distance from me, I may try to contact the person once or twice. I don't chase people. They wanna leave they can....no matter what the relationship with that person is. 
• I like to joke around only with certain group of people.
• I can be stubborn. When I have a strong opinion about something, I will defend it.

Good Things About Me:

• Faithful, honest as much as I can & Loyal.
• I care and love too hard. I like to support my love ones.
• If you need me I will be there as much as I can no matter when or where I am.
• I am strong, hard working and persistent.
• I am sensitive and expressive but only with selective group of people.
• I like to take care of the people I care and love.
• I will be there when no one else will be. 
• Mature for my age ( still way to go lol ), realistic...knows how to behave depends on where and with who I am.
• Give good advise.
• I have a noble heart.
• I like to focus on my studies or professional matters.
• Independent as much as I can and try to look after my finances lol
• I love and I'm kinda good with kids.. which mean I have patience but not for b.s lol 
• I am very family orientated. No matter what happens I love my family and always be there for them as much as I can.
• My mood is easy to read but not my feelings. Wanna know how I feel, ask xD
• I don't trust easily but when I do i do it with all my heart.
• I give second chances to people who deserve it but with restrictions. If I see that person is putting the effort , I will the the effort as well beyond what my comfort zone as I said before it hard for me to forget when someone hurts me. 
• Before I point out someones mistakes I start with mine. When I realize I made a mistake, I admit it and apologize for it.
• Problem solver. I like to talk about things yet when I reach the point I feel feed up with some behaviors or excuses, I tend to distant myself. 
• I am a very nice and friendly person even when people are not to me. But I have be it for long enough till I am feed up with it and decided to not show whether I care or not.  One thing is for sure no matter what if that person truly needs me i will be there till they are on their feet. 
• When I make a promise I do everything in my power to keep it.. if i know i wont.. then I dont do it and lie to the person about it or worst lie to me about it.

Well here is the "medium" list of what I bring to the table.. the good and the bad lol... what you see is what you get. I avoid playing games or pretending someone I am not. This is me, the imperfect but unique me. I may have my flaws and a very strong character/personality but my heart has pure intentions. When I care and/or love someone, I do it and that will never end it may be transformed but the feeling will be there...that's just me whether I told to that person(s) or not ... Love me or hate me, I wont change .. I will only improve :)