Graduation Dilemma

Well I shall start by saying that May has been a crazy month so far. I saw someone I haven’t in a very long time, I got the best news but the right next day I found out some big problems were on the table and I confessed I cried like a baby; I wanted to see someone again (the one I saw before) but he didn’t say anything hopefully cuz he was busy with work and not because he just can care less; and finally one of the most important man in my life is visiting – my uncle.

I cant believe my graduation is just days, DAYS away. It is a big deal for me because after everything, every change and particularly even with everything that happened last semester I MADE IT!!!! I graduated and in my last semester I made it to the Deans’ List (honor’s list) I am proud of myself because I gave my best even though I am sure I could have done better.  I am not perfect in any way but I feel good about myself because I know for sure I give my all in all aspects of my life from professional to personal.

Last year I used to picture how my graduation day would be. Unfortunately it will have variations for different reasons. The two people I wanted to be there will not… my mom and my ex. Obviousl

y, I wanted to spend that special moment with my parents since it would have been the first graduation I had both of them but God had other plans. Also, I would have introduced my ex as my boyfriend to my parents and sharing that big moment with him would have been awesome but as we all know we aren’t together right now. As I mentioned in my previous post I am trying to avoid wishing we would get back together because I feel instead of that happening soon, it is taking more and more time (further and further). If he wants to be part of my life as my boyfriend again, he can give me the surprise and all whenever that is (soon enough cuz I’m not waiting for decades) or even that happens. I will be polity which is not the same than “showing how I feel” I am an educated person…that’s how I was raised. If HE or anyone wonders how I feel about them, they better ask because I am friendly and polite that my personality and does not exactly shows how I may feel once again. Plain and simple. If we decide we wanna go back together we will discuss it. If not and we end up being legit friends he already know how things will go from them since last year I made that very VERY clear. I try to be as honest as I possibly can because that’s what I want and expect from people specially the ones I truly care. Destiny is nothing without action so we shall see how thing progress and what the outcome will be.

People may complain about how I see and share my graduation. For some it is weird I don’t invite people like friends and stuff. Sorry but my graduation is very important, private and something I want to keep for me and just share with certain very selective people. This doesn’t mean I don’t care about my other friends and close friends! I care about them but I know if you care you will get it and we can celebrate in other days for sure… So this time, I will share it with my dad, my uncle who is like my second that and I love dearly, the uncle and aunt that I live with (yes that’s why they are going). I would love to Alejandra to attend but she could come so L She owes me and better be for the next big celebration in my life lol.

I can’t wait… Time to see the last details and enjoy it as much as I can because I deserve it. I dedicate my graduation-degree to the ones who have believed in me since day one, the ones who care what’s on my mind, heart and soul.  Last but no less important I dedicate this one to my family, closest friends , and  my mother Graciela Trabucco and my grandfather Mario Trabucco Tamiz Cuz I know they wanted with all their hearts to be there but God had other plans ... still I’m sure they will be there in the first line next to me.

Even though it’s only the first couple of week, as you can “Read” its been intense… I wonder what’s next. Hopefully what I truly want with all my heart happens… fingers crossed and even if it doesn’t I will make the best of it… J